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Gosh things just go from good to bad to worse and back again. Im sick of all of this......Worst thing is my best friends planning to run away ... and he wont tell me where to ... I dont even know if hes planning on coming back...Hes the only one who can save me when I get down and Ive been down lately and he cant run away because if he does who will save me then....I dont even feel like myself at the moment Ive lost my grip on reality.....I dont even know whats going on....I found myself spinning around in the shower slicing at my wrists, spreading the blood over myself and laughing......Its just not something I would normally do.....Normally I would feel bad when I was doing it but I felt so completely elated it was fucked up and I dont know whats going on and I wish somehow I just knew what was real and what was not Im just waiting to wake up .... but Im afraid I never will.....
Hi Janefrat

Have you tried telling your friend how much he's needed where he is? Is there some reason why he'd be running? something going on at home perhaps.. or issues elsewhere? I think you should try to talk to him before he goes, let him know how much you need him and care about him.. maybe by letting him know this he wouldn't run away because he'd realize his importance

hope things work out
He doesnt listen ..... Im going to ask him to hang around at least till my birthday and thats a while away and hope he forgets about it and stays. I think he want to do it cause hes bored.....Our tiny little town isnt exactly the most exciting place....If worst comes to worst Ill tie him to a tree or something so he cant leave....And then everything will be fine....
Interesting Idea.. tying him to a tree

I hope he stays around till your birthday at least... maybe between now and then, if he agrees to stay around till then, you can work on showing him how much his presence is appreciated. It does sound like you really care about him so it should be easy enough to make him aware. Hopefully in seeing this he'll decide to hang around longer.
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