Got a date :) ex is pestering me :(

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by thebaronspell, Nov 11, 2011.

  1. thebaronspell

    thebaronspell Well-Known Member

    Been asked out on a date and I've said yes to it. She seems charming and adorable enough but so did my (good for nothing) ex. Anyway she already has picked up on my sweet natured self and now I'm scared she'll turn on me too and use me. My ex doesn't seem to pleased apparently she expected me to sit around moping about her..

    Sad thing is this girl might turn out to be amazing but because somebody else scared me inside I might not be able to trust her and it'll be too late to do anything about it. I've tried to get my ex out of my head but she keeps pestering me rubbing it in that I haven't got her. I hate/love her what should I do? Ignore her forever when we both can't let go completely?
  2. tudor_77

    tudor_77 Member

    Oh man, been in this position before!! Its funny how women will cast you asunder then suddenly act like a victim when you move on with your life. Its great that you have found a date already! Sure, it might not work out and you may end up dating several people before you find someone significant but its a very healthy sign that you are seeing other people. I wish you the best of luck mate!!

    How long have you been split from your ex?
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I think it is a very brave step hun you are taking just go with it okay enjoy the evening and don't even think of ex hugs to you
  4. The_Guard

    The_Guard Well-Known Member

    Go on the date,
    be sweet and charming, women love it, BUT, show her that in the relationship, YOU are the man, and YOU can not be taken advantage of...

    chivalry isn't dead, but neither is the situation of the man being in charge. It is a man's job to provide, therefore its the man's job to not be told what to do, because then it will show a lack of leadership, you can take advice, and by all mean's SHOULD take advice, but don't let her boss you around.

    as for the ex, threaten to file a harassment complaint. she will stop instantly, if not, file a harassment complaint, then she wont have a choice.
  5. *sparkle*

    *sparkle* Staff Alumni

    wow lol its not a man's job to provide in my world - i wouldnt be able to bear that. i value my skills and work..

    if your ex is pestering you a harrassment complaint could work. or if its on email - block her... telephone: change your number... in person a little more difficult...

    but please try to enjoy your date... a previous bad experience doesn't necessarily lead onto another one :) there are good people about too
  6. thebaronspell

    thebaronspell Well-Known Member

    Thank you guys and girls. She's a friend of a friend. I sent my ex a picture of my date to try and stop her harassing me and now she's asking me to never mention her even though she cheated on me twice. My date wants me to be my soppy and sweet self I have no choice in the matter. I won't be that dominant though and she loved the idea of us ending the night by strolling past the river.

    I'm sorry for her though that my guard is back up she may be the best girl ever and cos of one horrible person(s) I could cower in my shell in fear of getting hurt badly.

    Because I spent the week ignoring my ex she threatened to have my legs broken so now I'm truly over her.
  7. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Yay! I'm glad you're dating!

    I think it's pretty common to feel a little scared of being hurt after a sad/bad breakup. It doesn't have cloud things though. It likely means that you would wait a little longer before you give over your whole heart to someone new. (Nothing wrong with keeping her intrigued for a while - giving her just enough to want to know you more. And then when it feels right, it feels right.)

    Good luck and have lots of fun! Some of the best walks, chats, and dates I've had were good long walks. :) :hug:
  8. thebaronspell

    thebaronspell Well-Known Member

    Dilemma! My ex appears to be very jealous and wants me to take her back and claims she'll make up for everything 'big time'. She doesn't want me going on a date with this girl yet she's still with this new boyfriend of hers. I love/hate her as soon as I get her of my mind she'll get in touch and mess my head up :(

    I want her to be trustworthy and serious and not a user but she'll always hurt me. I know you're thinking just forget her but I grew up with my Mum taking my Dad back every so often until I was 10 I can't help but give people chances they don't deserve :/
  9. gloomy

    gloomy Account Closed

    I wish I had your problems!

    But it sounds like you got involved with a really messed up girl… I know the type very well.

    For your own sanity, don't go back to her. The new girl sounds a lot more promising… even if it is a 'rebound' thing that doesn't mean it doesn't have potential. There's no need to worry about getting 'hurt'… you're a guy… I'm not saying you need to be callous but we're supposed to be able to get over this stuff or at least not worry about it.

    Just suck it up, keep things light, and try to have fun… you don't need to 'fall in love' and get all heavy and serious right away...
  10. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    omg your ex is controlling you she does not give a dam abt you only herself You continue to see this other girl how else will your ex ever learn you are in control of you not her
  11. thebaronspell

    thebaronspell Well-Known Member

    She apologised in a similar fashion last week and then threatened to have my legs broken days later because I questioned her for changing her mind all the time and as to why I'm always on the receiving end to everything!

    I wished I wasn't so soppy and soft but growing up without a man around kind of does make you see the camp side in everything and people if you know what I mean. I'm determined to not be my Dad.

    I hate how the minute I toughen up people make a big deal out of it and escalate things to an unbelievable level. So I opt to stay me and be walked over.. :/
  12. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hun BE you but just don't be a doormat for this women okay YOU get some self esteem and tell her enough you will not be used again okay You are wanting something fro her she will never give hun she will never be faithful to just you You find someone you deserve and who deserves You hugs
  13. Avarice

    Avarice Well-Known Member

    She only wants you back now because she doesn't want you to be with this new girl. It's the old "I don't want you but no one else can have you either" routine. Go on the date with this new girl and try to put your ex out of your mind. She sounds like major bad news.
  14. thebaronspell

    thebaronspell Well-Known Member

    Why does she want to hold me back and make miserable I've never done her any harm. I