Got a plan

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by weirdal, Aug 23, 2007.

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  1. weirdal

    weirdal Forum Buddy

    i finally have devised a plan to end my life but there is still a tiny tiny bit of me that wants to hang on,doesnt want me to fade away into existence but is that tiny bit enough?

    i want to live, have the life i see my friends having and most of all i want to feel wanted. But i dont know how much longer i can hold on.

    I'm 14 and self harm,have severe depression,have severe binge eating, hate and am hated by my parents, failing school, have no purpose in life.

    Is the any point staying here?

    I dont think it will be possible to get help, my parents are the most selfish twats who dont realize that i have feelings, think its ok to spit in my face, take the piss out of my weight, make fun of me because they found my old suicide note, and i cant get theapory or anything without them knowing can i.

    i dont think i will ever be or feel love again for my heart has been broken too many times, even by the people i live with.

    Basically i dont know what to do

    Im worried about what is after life

    but then it seems like such an alternative

    im just so lost and broken i hate myself, i hate life and i hate the fact people all over the world are dying from thirst and here i am complaining abotu life but if i could switch lifes i would

    i dont deserve shit

    well.... thanks for reading

    love anyone who read all of this

  2. weirdal

    weirdal Forum Buddy

  3. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member


    please dont do it..


    you may not succeed and it may make thing worse and give you more pain then what you are already in.. i know from experience cause i did attempt my life and am paying for it now big time.. pm me if you want the details..
  4. Calyx

    Calyx Member

    It is a shame that a family such as yours has no conscience acknowledgment of what it is that is going on in your life, but know this, you most definitely have purpose for that which is keeping you alive is giving you strength, and the more you hold on to that tiny want for life....the bigger it grows, really sit down and nurture that want for life, make a list of all the things you are great full of:
    for example; you may put, that you are great full that your family are still alive, they may disgrace you, call you things you wish they hadn't, but just think for a moment how much WORSE your situation would be if you didn't have them...
    It sounds to me that your family are not taking you seriously,
    For the most of it they seem to be running a mockery...
    Really confront them on that, do not allow them to chip away at yourself for what ever it is that they decide to do to you...keep doing it until one day they wake up and finally take you seriously...that you need help in dealing with your personal issues

  5. silent_enigma

    silent_enigma Well-Known Member

    wierdal, I'd think the likliest place to get therapy through w/o parents' knowledge would be the school guidance counsellor. Maybe they could arrange something. Also, since your parents are emotionally/verbally abusive the state may be able to intervene on your behalf. That sort of stuff counts as child abuse, you know. And people made those laws with kids like you in mind.

    14 is way too young to count your life a waste. Getting out of that negative environment may enable you to gradually learn to not binge eat and self harm. It's worth a shot, at least.
  6. weirdal

    weirdal Forum Buddy

    rite, shall try and arrange a meeting wih her then at bhegining of school, if that doesnt work out my try the state, because i dont think this can go on for much longer.

    thanks for posting everyone

  7. TranceAngel

    TranceAngel Well-Known Member

    wow i feel for you so strongly. we don't choose our parents unfortunately. i had a situation i was in with a boy very similar to you. because of that, i have done a lot of research into resources for kids and have made friends with an amazing lady who works her butt off helping kids in your situation. there is help and there is hope. i am NOT just saying that. please PM me and i will give you some email addresses for people who not only care, but who can help you make changes in your life.
  8. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    It's good to hear that your re-considering and gonna give it another shot.

    Best of luck.
  9. weirdal

    weirdal Forum Buddy

    yup i hope so
  10. SueEisman

    SueEisman Member

    Hi Alex

    I was just thinking about you and had to pop in to say hello.

    I'll be making a trip back to Florida before long. Not sure exactly when but if I vanish Trans can tell you where I am.

    You have a lot to offer here and you probably should but get out and about to other sites as well. Do you have a myspace page. They're a lot of fun to make......go for it.
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