Got an answer finally *triggering content*

I have finally got an answer about why my rape case didn't go ahead, i lost the head with the sergeant and told him to grow a pair of balls and get this pedo locked up, he got angry back at me as expected and told me the case was denied for two reasons, i was only ever given one which was a lack of evidence, when he got angry he told me it was denied by the DPP (director of public prosecutions) because I was too unstable for a trial to go ahead but he was sure the DPP would decide to prosecute but they didn't because they were scared I was too unstable and at risk of suicide (keep in mind i was in a coma 4 months after i made the statement from an attempt), why not just tell me that???? why keep these secrets? A pedo is free because I was unstable. Go figure and fuck you sergeant, its easy for you to say get on with your life, try and fucking do it.

 

Yeah, it sure was difficult. I need to find a solicitor and fast but I cannot afford one, I will have to look into free legal aid to appeal this disaster. You know what hurt the most? when I told my mom, she said ''I don't care, you only ever think about yourself, there are kids starving in Africa and people your age dying of cancer'' what the genuine fuck? It's like she doesn't want me to send a request to appeal and that hurts. I know my mom was sexually abused as a child/teen (idk) but her words hurt more than he hurt me.

Thank you for being there for me, you have always treated me so kindly and with respect and care. You're amazing

 

*hugs* I am sorry to hear that. I hope that you can find a solicitor.

I'm sorry for what your mom said, she should not be saying things like that to you.

 

The problem is that there were two reasons - even if you were stable, the fact is that there wasn't enough evidence. And any defence lawyer would cite all the meds you are on to say that your memory is impaired. There isn't enough evidence and you are not a reliable witness - I understand why you are angry and hurt about it - its crappy - but from the point of view of the police and the DPP, they don't have a hope of winning a case against him and in the end it would be really bad for you to be ripped into in court by a defence lawyer claiming you are a drug addled addict whose memory is impaired by a shit ton of meds. That wouldn't help you - it would make you feel utterly shite - and it wouldn't get him off the street because he'd win with no evidence against him apart from your word that it happened.

I know it is really hard to get on with your life when you live where you do - it is far far easier said than done and saying 'get on with it' isn't useful. But nor is getting yourself upset by keeping on pursuing it when there is no chance it can/will go anywhere. It is damaging you to keep doing this - and if you go screaming at police people you are going to be the one that ends up arrested Lynnie.

 

@Freya I know what you say is true. My legal right is that I have an appeal to make, maybe some time from now I can do it or I will just let it go. It is one of those things that I know is morally right to do but you're right, they would tear me apart because I am ''crazy'' and a lack of evidence. I would never normally speak like that to a police officer or anyone, it was just one of those days so don't worry I won't be getting arrested anytime soon. Mom said the same thing, to let it go. I think that is what I will have to do for my sanity. In my DBT I am on a part called radical acceptance and I am trying to accept the DPP's decision, that is what brought all of this on. It just hurts to know he got away with it and nothing I do will change it. Hopefully the therapy will help. Thank you for your honesty and support

 

Yes, I think you should let it go. @Freya has made a good point, getting questioned by a defense attorney wouldn't be good for you.

 

I did apologise for being rude to him, he told me not to worry about it.

You know what? I would love nothing more than to move on but it is so difficult when there are constant reminders around me. If I put as much energy into getting out of this hell hole as I do into trying to get justice I'd be a lot better off. He is scum and I am a good person, im not going to let him ruin my life. Yes, what happened, happened but yeah just have to find a way to douse these flames.

 

Received a letter from the director or public prosecutions today stating that a senior lawyer has reviewed the case and it will not be reopened. Due to a change in the law I cannot get the reasons from THEM of why it wasn't brought to court because it was before the law change in November '15.

Regardless, I am happy and getting on with my life in therapy etc... i no longer care to have him charged, idgaf to be honest He has no power over me none at all, he is scum and will remain scum. I am free of what happened I am FREEEE

 

I am glad to hear that you are moving on. *hugs*