Got an answer finally *triggering content*

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by Petal, May 9, 2016.

  1. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I have finally got an answer about why my rape case didn't go ahead, i lost the head with the sergeant and told him to grow a pair of balls and get this pedo locked up, he got angry back at me as expected and told me the case was denied for two reasons, i was only ever given one which was a lack of evidence, when he got angry he told me it was denied by the DPP (director of public prosecutions) because I was too unstable for a trial to go ahead but he was sure the DPP would decide to prosecute but they didn't because they were scared I was too unstable and at risk of suicide (keep in mind i was in a coma 4 months after i made the statement from an attempt), why not just tell me that???? why keep these secrets? A pedo is free because I was unstable. Go figure and fuck you sergeant, its easy for you to say get on with your life, try and fucking do it.
    DrownedFishOnFire likes this.
  2. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    UGH! That must have been difficult to be told though. *hugs*

    Could you not retake the case now if you're more stable?
    I imagine a trial is incredibly hard to go through, but I dont get how he wasn't put on trial because of that. It doesn't make sense to me.

    I'm sorry hun

    I'm here if you ever want to talk
    DrownedFishOnFire and Petal like this.
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Yeah, it sure was difficult. I need to find a solicitor and fast but I cannot afford one, I will have to look into free legal aid to appeal this disaster. You know what hurt the most? when I told my mom, she said ''I don't care, you only ever think about yourself, there are kids starving in Africa and people your age dying of cancer'' what the genuine fuck? It's like she doesn't want me to send a request to appeal and that hurts. I know my mom was sexually abused as a child/teen (idk) but her words hurt more than he hurt me.

    Thank you for being there for me, you have always treated me so kindly and with respect and care. You're amazing :)
    DrownedFishOnFire likes this.
  4. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    *hugs* I am sorry to hear that. I hope that you can find a solicitor.

    I'm sorry for what your mom said, she should not be saying things like that to you.
    Petal likes this.
  5. Freya

    Freya Loves SF Staff Member ADMIN

    The problem is that there were two reasons - even if you were stable, the fact is that there wasn't enough evidence. And any defence lawyer would cite all the meds you are on to say that your memory is impaired. There isn't enough evidence and you are not a reliable witness - I understand why you are angry and hurt about it - its crappy - but from the point of view of the police and the DPP, they don't have a hope of winning a case against him and in the end it would be really bad for you to be ripped into in court by a defence lawyer claiming you are a drug addled addict whose memory is impaired by a shit ton of meds. That wouldn't help you - it would make you feel utterly shite - and it wouldn't get him off the street because he'd win with no evidence against him apart from your word that it happened.

    I know it is really hard to get on with your life when you live where you do - it is far far easier said than done and saying 'get on with it' isn't useful. But nor is getting yourself upset by keeping on pursuing it when there is no chance it can/will go anywhere. It is damaging you to keep doing this - and if you go screaming at police people you are going to be the one that ends up arrested Lynnie.
    Petal likes this.
  6. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    I'm really sorry your mum said that. What a terrible thing to say, and she's wrong. Yes there are other people who suffer. But you suffer too! You deserve closure; and if your mother cares so much about other kids, if he goes unpunished, what could he do to others??

    *sends you a bunch of hugs*
    Petal likes this.
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    @Freya I know what you say is true. My legal right is that I have an appeal to make, maybe some time from now I can do it or I will just let it go. It is one of those things that I know is morally right to do but you're right, they would tear me apart because I am ''crazy'' and a lack of evidence. I would never normally speak like that to a police officer or anyone, it was just one of those days so don't worry I won't be getting arrested anytime soon. Mom said the same thing, to let it go. I think that is what I will have to do for my sanity. In my DBT I am on a part called radical acceptance and I am trying to accept the DPP's decision, that is what brought all of this on. It just hurts to know he got away with it and nothing I do will change it. Hopefully the therapy will help. Thank you for your honesty and support :)
  8. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    Yes, I think you should let it go. @Freya has made a good point, getting questioned by a defense attorney wouldn't be good for you.
    Petal likes this.
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I did apologise for being rude to him, he told me not to worry about it.

    You know what? I would love nothing more than to move on but it is so difficult when there are constant reminders around me. If I put as much energy into getting out of this hell hole as I do into trying to get justice I'd be a lot better off. He is scum and I am a good person, im not going to let him ruin my life. Yes, what happened, happened but yeah just have to find a way to douse these flames.
  10. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Certain people don't know what it is really like when it happens and blame the victim for what happened as it was their fault or ingore the issue completely.

    They havent experienced this trauma themselves and I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. They dont know as they didn't endure this themselves so they don't have that idea how hellish it is really like

    Prosecution pisses me off to no end. Not just that he was a pedo but he is getting away with it because justice is always messed up like that
    Petal likes this.
  11. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Received a letter from the director or public prosecutions today stating that a senior lawyer has reviewed the case and it will not be reopened. Due to a change in the law I cannot get the reasons from THEM of why it wasn't brought to court because it was before the law change in November '15.

    Regardless, I am happy and getting on with my life in therapy etc... i no longer care to have him charged, idgaf to be honest :) He has no power over me none at all, he is scum and will remain scum. I am free of what happened :) I am FREEEE
    Witty_Sarcasm likes this.
  12. Rockclimbinggirl

    Rockclimbinggirl SF climber Staff Member Safety & Support

    I am glad to hear that you are moving on. :D *hugs*
    Petal likes this.