Got Caught

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Shiroi_Hana, Feb 15, 2009.

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  1. Shiroi_Hana

    Shiroi_Hana Well-Known Member

    So, my mother found out about my cutting due to my own stupidity. I try not to show my arms much around my family; I usually cover them with long sleeves unless I'm alone, which I am at night. So whenever I'm by myself, I don't really bother with trying to hide my cuts. Anyway, yesterday I happened to be awake when my mother got up, as I couldn't sleep. She came into my room to talk to me, but the light was out with only the TV on, so I thought I wouldn't have to try to hide much; it wasn't even dawn yet. Well, I was wrong. Somehow, she caught sight of my arm as I was pulling my hair back. She grabbed it and asked "What the hell happened". I said nothing, but she wouldn't drop it, so all I could think to say to her was, " I've been really stressed out lately." Now, she knows that I've cut in the past, it's just that she thought I'd stopped a long time ago. I'd been able to hide it from her for over a year since I moved back home. I thought she seemed really upset, but then when I talked to her again that day, it seemed to blow over completely, luckily enough for me. I half-expected her to come back into my room and tell me to get dressed, because she was taking me to be evaluated, but fortunately she's been so preoccupied with her fiance of late that she doesn't really have much time for anything else, unless you count her own suicidal thoughts, which she likes to tell me about from time to time; that's always a good thing to listen to from a parent... Anyway, I guess I should count myself lucky this time, but I should definitely be more careful in the future. I just didn't think she could see so well in the dark... :dry:
  2. mixedemotions

    mixedemotions Forum Buddy

    my mam once caught me, but the thing is i was actually half way through th act of harming itself.
    but i dont think she realised what was going on... she jus kinda came into my room, as i was sat at my desk..
    i sat there holding the blade to my skin.
    she just seemed to look down at my arm, and didnt say a thing. she just asked what i wanted for super, i answered, throughin the blade to a side.
    she never did say any thing about it. maybe she never saw? i dont know. or maybe she didnt wanna ask or admit it.

    but now still to this day im always extra safe. and try to always have a good excuse ready.
    id hate to see her, catch me again. it would kill her and me.
  3. Shiroi_Hana

    Shiroi_Hana Well-Known Member

    I wish I knew exactly what I am supposed to say if it ever happens again, I know what I said was a really weak explanation... is it "safe" for one to say, "Oh, that? Well lately I've been feeling like walking off a building and this helps me feel emotions" or what have you?

    Seems like your experience was much worse than mine; I can't imagine what I would do if I were caught as I was doing it... I'd probably do the same thing you did, I'm not sure... all the same, getting caught sucks. Horribly.
  4. black mamba

    black mamba Active Member

    I got caught bymy sister once. She was incredibly upset by it and I don't think she looked at me or treated me in the way she had done before for a long time. She's a very positive, optimistic person so it's impossible for her to even begin to understand anything about self harm or suicide.
  5. Shiroi_Hana

    Shiroi_Hana Well-Known Member

    My siblings are the same way; or at least one of them is. My brother, who is closer to my age, thinks it's the worst thing in the world for me to cut myself, but thinks it's perfectly fine to let his girl cut him with a blade she'd just used. But I'm the weirdo. Okay. Anyway, it's really hard to have to justify yourself to people who can't even begin to grasp what you're feeling. I think it's exhausting.
  6. allison

    allison Well-Known Member

    It probably blew over because, on some level, she knows how if feels, especially if she's had suicidal thoughts of her own. I've never gotten caught before--not even close--which is lucky, I guess. But even if I do, my parents don't have much faith in psychologists/psychiatrists, which sucks, since sometimes I feel like I really need to see somebody...
  7. xxicedragonxx

    xxicedragonxx Well-Known Member

    when i got baker acted my mom ended up in the hospital. i wasnt really trying to die i just cut too deep. she doesnt understand the difference at all.
  8. mmm28

    mmm28 Member

    god, i don't even know what i'd say if i got caught. i've always been kind of embarrassed about it.
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