got my head out of my ass now

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by jimk, Nov 3, 2011.

  1. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    my dearest friend in the world Catherine in colorado just got the news that her lung cancer is probably back.. she had the guts to call me and her relatives and give us the news two days ago..

    she is in great pain now and realizes she might not make it thru this.. well she and i know each other all ways and really care a heck of a lot about other.. we love this..

    well i have stewed in my own juices and despair for 2 days now.. this is very selfish for me to have done.. she is the one sick and in danger and time for me to support her lovingly the best that i can thru this..

    will gather myself and in the afternoon will try to get her on the phone.. missing her today will try again tomorrow then. find out what further tests ahve been done and what the doc's verdict is..

    i am going to try and help my friend... jim
     
  2. Isabel

    Isabel Staff Alumni

    Hi jimk,

    Just knowing somebody care makes a world of difference. I hope your friend Catherine will get better. In such a difficult time, she is a fortunate woman to have such a caring friend.
     
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hello Jimk,
    I'm so sorry to hear about your friend, but you have to make sure you're going to pull through too. she's lucky to have you as a friend :)
     
  4. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    thank you isabel and inmem.. talked to catherine on phone yesterday.. had radioactive test done after swallowing liquid friday.. more tests on monday for her.. doc 99 adn 44/100's sure cancer is back .. catherine wearing happy face but is getting harder for her to do that.. we do skype video calls sometimes and will ask her if she is able to do that.. that way johnny will be visible to her and the two of them adore each other..

    yes i am trying to take care of me.. trouble with that is i am down in the dumps currently also.. will fight it best i can.. also got to eat dinner regularly even if do not want to. and sleep!!!

    on the first a tuesday , talked to my T tara about catherine being my true blue support person always adn guess on monday will email my therapist about what is going on now.thoughts of losing catherine scare the bloody heck out of me now.. Jim
     
  5. Isabel

    Isabel Staff Alumni

    Take care of yourself, it can be so easy to start skipping meals, thinking you can get by with less snooze time etc...slippery slope! One of the thing I am sure would help you friend is knowing that while you take care of her, you have also found that balance of giving to yourself and giving to others. We all rest a little bit better when we feel our love ones are safe.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 6, 2011
  6. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    got blitzed a bit on a high priced bottle of champagne tonight.. had been two years since had done that.. just called catherine and talked coherntly to my best friend about what was happening..

    they did the lung biopsy today adn results tomorrow or fridayl.. she was coughing throughout our phone call.. she was putting on her happy mask adn i very getntly told her she did not have to do that with me.. please just say what was on her mind and soul.. she took the mask down and she is scared terribly..

    decided for us to try to put on a happy mind taht this is all solvable and able to be fixed.. asked her to email with the results of all the tests as she can .. told her again she can call me 24/7 when she needs to .. she like me and she won't do that..

    thank god i am littlebit drunk adn going to take our pills in a little bit and the combo of mes will probably knock me out for at least 5 hours.. thank god for that..
     
  7. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    Catherine got some results lately.. big cell cancer which is much better than the small cell variety.. more tests including xrays and breathing tests. also inquiries of her about just what kind of medical coverage she has now. well that coverage is the same it has been for years.. medicare and medicaid to pay the rest . people, catherine is broke and the government knows it and has to pay the cost.. her providers now know that and poor catherine is waiting now to hear the latest test results and just when and how they are going to try adn treat this all for her..

    she is hangin in there but is very hard adn difficult for her atm..
     
  8. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    had been 3 fridays ago when they did the surgery on catherine.. not a single word from her.. she almost did not make it and spent the last two weeks in intensive care barely able to breathe... called the police in her home town while back and got the phone numbers for all the hospitals and nursing homes in the area.. none of them said they had catherine as a patient.. not being related is very hard to try and get information..

    had called her hone number every day and no one answered.. was almost going to give up hope today still nobody answered.. today she finally got out of ICU and was able to get outside for few mijnutes and called me on her cell.. heard on the voice of caller id montrose colorado and ran to the phone to pick up.. my best friend is still alive and kicking and to talk to her made my day very good.. still goiong to remain in hospital for awhile and is going to have home health care for awhile also..

    wish i was able to just let loose and cry.. haven't done that forever and somethihng i need to work on with my therapist ... world just looks a heck of a lot better today.