I was somewhere near depression, my mind was full of memories and bad feelings. But I fought against them. I found a way to put them away, at least for a while. I was happy. Maybe the sun will at last shine on me too. But no. After there was nothing else to worry, I started to worry of my health. And just conveniently I started to feel strange. I've been feeling abnormal tiredness for two days and I fear I have some sort of tumor in my brains causing it. It feels so strange, because I think I've slept enough. I like to think it's because of my depressed emotions before, and that I've done nothing and haven't been outside to fresh my mind, but I can't stop thinking if there really is some disease in me. How fucking fair it is? First years of mental torment, then finally things seem to get better, but then there's tumor in my brains. And after all the hell I will die in great pain, all the struggle for nothing. I know it sounds stupid and no one is interested, but I'm so tired I don't really care. When once been paranoid, paranoia comes in everywhere.