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Got to go

#1
Im so close to just ending it. I cant take another day of this nonstop anxiety and depression. I can barely think straight or function at all. Its been a good 41 years but I feel like thats all I had. I just have to get it over with.
 

Maagy43

Active Member
#4
Please ask the dr for something different or different dosage. Sometimes it takes a little trial and error before finding one that helps.

My Dr. also gives me a light script for xanex. Very light. It’s addictive, so I only take it at the worst anxiety attacks. I’m sure there are other things they will give to help you through.

Your Dr. should be able to give you things to do that help you through the anxiety.
 

Waves

Well-Known Member
#8
Try to find something/someone to love. That will give you purpose to live each day.
someone to love? And love back. I did and they turned on me when found someone else. Destroyed me with gaslighting. I searched after to love and well that was not good to put it nicely. Maybe there are too many unrealistic romance movies and books with happy endings. I do know that it is better and more hopeful before age 55.
 

So so tired

Well-Known Member
#11
Im so close to just ending it. I cant take another day of this nonstop anxiety and depression. I can barely think straight or function at all. Its been a good 41 years but I feel like thats all I had. I just have to get it over with.
Hi there Robert

I can really feel your despair and wish that I could have some magical words for you.

Having children does not make anyone feel any less suicidal if they have reached rock bottom. I feel guilty for feeling so suicidal as I have a child too.
No one can ever replace you as a father no matter how hard they may try.
My child is in care after his father died of a stroke and I tried to commit suicide. He has been with his current carers for several years and has bonded very well to the male carer however he does not call him dad but calls him by his first name.
My son speaks so so fondly of his dad with lots of love and admiration,and talks about all the happy times we shared that why I say that you are not replaceable.
I know its not the Same situation but hope it can bring you other perspective.
Its selfish of your wife to do this to you after you gave her 4 children.!
She does not deserve you but your children do.
Its more complicated to end your life when children are involved. I have attempted several times and it's not the survival instinct that kicks in during what could be my last moments but the visual image of my son as if he was standing right in front of me that is telling me not to go
Hugs to you xx
 

So so tired

Well-Known Member
#13
I wish I could push forward but I really can't. I'm just tired... extremely tired. Mentally exhausted. I have to just give up
The mental tiredness that is not relieved by sleep, (if you can sleep) I know it well.

I really hope you can find a tiny tiny amount of hope, because if you could, it would be priceless.
People say to take everyday at at time but if it's every minute at a time then that's OK.
Are you still seeing your children? Can you make plans to do things together which may give you things to look forward to and a purpose to get up and try x
 
#14
I see my kids but it doesn't help. Nothing helps at all. Im a complete useless wreck. Completely freaking worthless dad and person. Thats 100% what I am nowadays
 

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