Im so close to just ending it. I cant take another day of this nonstop anxiety and depression. I can barely think straight or function at all. Its been a good 41 years but I feel like thats all I had. I just have to get it over with.
Hi there Robert
I can really feel your despair and wish that I could have some magical words for you.
Having children does not make anyone feel any less suicidal if they have reached rock bottom. I feel guilty for feeling so suicidal as I have a child too.
No one can ever replace you as a father no matter how hard they may try.
My child is in care after his father died of a stroke and I tried to commit suicide. He has been with his current carers for several years and has bonded very well to the male carer however he does not call him dad but calls him by his first name.
My son speaks so so fondly of his dad with lots of love and admiration,and talks about all the happy times we shared that why I say that you are not replaceable.
I know its not the Same situation but hope it can bring you other perspective.
Its selfish of your wife to do this to you after you gave her 4 children.!
She does not deserve you but your children do.
Its more complicated to end your life when children are involved. I have attempted several times and it's not the survival instinct that kicks in during what could be my last moments but the visual image of my son as if he was standing right in front of me that is telling me not to go
Hugs to you xx