got triggered

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by morning rush, Feb 23, 2014.

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  1. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I saw the first ep of this new series called Those Who Kill with Chloe sevigny. I like this actress but in one scene, she cuts herself with a razor blade on purpose, and that triggered me. It made me want to cut...but I was thinking that if I do it, my mom would see it and get upset...

    I could always do it somewhere she wouldn't see...but I've been at least 3 years cutting free so...I want to keep it that way...

    normally I don't get triggered, I mean I watch so many horror films, they are my favorite kind of genre...but that single scene just made me crave it...

    I am pathetic...I don't understand why I would want to cut myself...
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hugs to you ok i am so happy you did NOT harm you it is hard to fight that urge but you did it so good for you hun you are not pathetic do way you are very strong caring person hugs
  3. justsomegirl

    justsomegirl Well-Known Member

    First off, please give yourself a break - you are NOT pathetic! You say you haven't cut in three years? Well, there's nothing pathetic about that, or about being triggered and not following through. That's pretty strong if you ask me. I think when you used it to comfort yourself for so long, it becomes kind of addictive; like smokers who quit and still get cravings twenty years later. The important part is that you remember how far you have come. Also, try to think about whether or not it ever really helped or maybe caused you more stress from having to hide it and feeling guilty.

    There's a great thread with a sticky on this board with other things you can do if you feel like self-harming. It's definitely worth a scroll through - there's something for everyone! In any case keep reaching out and let everyone help you. You deserve nothing but smiles. :)
  4. Blue9121

    Blue9121 New Member

    Congratulations on your three years,its a very long time. Stay strong, tc.
  5. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    thank you everyone. You're right I was a bit hard on myself, I always am. I didn't cut after all. It's still in my mind though, a lot, but my razors (for shaving) are hidden and I mostly have plastic knives so...I try to keep my hands occupied and my mind as well...

    It's hard though...I just can't believe that one single scene would affect me to the point of almost cutting myself...I try to avoid certain movies and tv series but now, I don't know....
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