Got worse yet again.....

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Maaso, Mar 11, 2009.

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  1. Maaso

    Maaso Well-Known Member

    Im still here, I called my best friend, had him take all my guns. Only guns I see now are the ones I work on under supervision. And Im not going to USPSA this weekend Im trying.

    Today, I was feeling ok. But then I got a call from my ex, my love. Said to meet me in town, so I dropped everything I was doing to go see her hoping maybe she had changed her mind. I get there, she was being nice...she got in my truck and went for a drive. She said we had to go pay her phone bill. We get there, I sit over by the door and watch TV, then they call me over and have me sign something...wierd, but I dont care, I was just so happy to be with her. Then he tells me what happened....her and I just split our contracts. Means when she calls, my name wont show up anymore, shes done with me....I just wanted to die there.

    We get back to my truck, a tear runs down my cheek, and she demanded I take her home. I wanted to wreck into the nearest thing I saw. But my truck is imortal. I drop her off at her car.....

    Im rambling...Im sad, I miss her, she was my life....

    I dont know.
  2. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    hi. i am glad you posted this. you are obviously in a lot of pain. . .and i know how hard it is when you lose someone you love.

    it is positive that you reached out here - we can help you through this, and i hope you lean on us until you are stronger.

    pm if you want to talk. there are no words i can offer that take away your pain, but know i am here, we are here, with you. :console:
  3. christian_1990

    christian_1990 Well-Known Member

    lets look at the good side of what just happend..from now on dont expect a woman to be your "soulmate, love of ur life and all that bullshit because that just doesnt exist"....u dont need her ull be better soon and start dating another girls just for fun. same for girls date guys just for fun be sluts if u want as long as u dont get pregnant its ok.
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Unlike the last post, I do know what it is like to be deeply in love with someone and the relationship to be took a while for me to get back to feeling OK without thinking about him, but it is attainable...and fortunately, that relationship was a rehearsal for better ones...wishing you peace in your own skin and time to heal...big hugs, J
  5. Tess

    Tess Member

    How cruel of her not to tell you in advance why you were there, i'm so sorry. I'm in the same boat of having just lost the man I love and that is what has driven me here. You're obviously an extremely loving guy which obviously makes it all the more devastating to be treated like that. As for what christian says, I'd sure like to be that type of person, but when you have loved people deeply it can be very difficult and in my case out of the question to go to meaningless casual encounters from being in a loving relationship. But i suppose if you can conduct yourself like that and it is easier and makes you feel happier, more power to you, I wish I could be like that but I'm not.
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