got worse

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by itsalltoomuch, Nov 29, 2006.

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  1. itsalltoomuch

    itsalltoomuch New Member

    i tried to turn my life around but i just fucked it up again, got a job then got fired like i knew i would, for something that wasnt even my fault. I now feel like im living 1 biig day that never ends, i drift through life with nothing, i used to have everything. even fucking suicide cant be done without causing a big bastard deal, things just get worse and worse and dont look like there going to stop. 22 soon, christmas coming up i dont want to be around. I wanted to die from a heroin overdose, thought fuck it i might aswell try it. my plans have changed . I plan on getting drunk and slitting my wrists. i know its well within my capabilties i just wanna get it right first time. Throughout my life i've made so many choices that have turned out to be the wrong decision, if only i could turn back time. I feel as if we all start life with the possibility to be happy but so many of us make poor judgements and choices whether to satisfy ourselves or we're greedy and it steers us down another path.
    A path that you cant come back from, my life is beyond repair, perhaps many of you can salvage yours, I hope you can. It's almost at the point where my anger at myself and everyone around me will boil over and i just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. If i have one peice of sound advice in my crippled mind itd be not to take drugs, which sounds disabled because everybody ignores people who say that.
     
  2. Xian

    Xian Well-Known Member

    Are you addicted to heroin? Have you been in rehab before?

    You should try to get some help. Just take it one day at a time. But I'm telling you, not because it's the thing to say, but because I really believe it: Don't feel like you are not capable of love. Don't feel like, just because you've made some bad decisions or have gotten lost along the way, that that makes you a bad person who deserves this pain.

    You're only 22? "Every passing moment is a chance to turn it all around." Don't be afraid that no one would want to help you, or that your case is hopeless. People are out there exactly for that reason. They wait for you...

    :hug:
     
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    You say you used to have everything...why did this way of living leave?? this is something you might want to look at with friends and a professional...if you had a way of living once, it can be recaptured with the right intervention...and being 22...I am so glad I did not judge my entire life at your age...I was a garbage head, a dealer, a slut, etc...going for my Masters because I got a scholarship (well my brain on drugs did better than anyone would have thought)...all road leading to a short life and a very tragic one...I was wrong, although it has not been easy, but I am so glad I did not secure my fate then...please PM me if I can help in anyway...big hugs, Jackie
     
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