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gray area: a ramble

sinking_ship

woman overboard
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#1
I'm not actively thinking about it, most of the time. I'm not sure. It's been a rough...week? I dunno. More than week I guess, it all runs together into one big awful year, so who's to say. About 2 months ago I told my therapist I'd decided to try. I was in that spot where a good part of me just wanted to keep feeling shitty, keep pushing myself to feel worse. So I had to pick one way or the other I guess. But, I realized earlier today, I'm not really trying very hard. I'm staying up too late and not sleeping enough, can't get up the motivation to exercise, or meditate, or work on the book my therapist gave me. Been SHing a bit, though I said I would try to stop that too. Time is weird and fuzzy and makes no sense. I can't keep up with all I need to in life, and especially in work. Life is passing me by. But life is awful right now so that feels okay. But I also know it'll make it harder to have any hope of dragging myself out of this. It's just hard to see a future, and so I'm trying to not think about that. But the past and the present both send my mind bad places. I dunno. I'm not sure that I'm looking for anything in particular. I couldn't decide where to put this, just had to get it out.
 

Acy

Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense
ADMIN
#2
Just sending you some hugs. *hug *hug *hug

I know I’ve been in that weird unmotivated place at times. Sometimes it’s okay to just let it go, as long as we have a goal for when we will start up again. :) You’ve listed a lot of things to do. Maybe choosing one or two in small doses to start? Smaller steps can give us successes to build on.

I believe you can do it, so if you want a pep talk, just ask me. :)

Go, @sinking_ship GO! *stars*bounce*woohoo
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#3
i know things have been bad for you lately @sinking_ship . this year has been very hard for a lot of us. what could be a minor problem is made much worse. so it's not your fault that it's so hard right now.

just try to keep your head above water and remember that a lot of people care about you. you are very strong for making it this far so be proud of yourself. *bravo things will get better in time so try to hold on. and you are welcome to use my inbox to talk or vent anytime. my heart goes out to you and i hope things get better for you soon...mike....*hug*shake
 

Kiwi2016

🦩 Now a flamingo, not a kiwi 🦩
Forum Pro
#4
Sending you heartfelt hugs as I too often feel the same...like in a time warp where time marches on as they say and yet I find myself still stuck in the same place without any lasting motivation to make the changes in my life I wish to do....as others suggested....maybe just chose one thing a week to "work on" as that I hope/believe can build some inner motivation/momentum of sorts as otherwise seems so overwhelming ...encourage you to keep posting as we are here to listen...
 

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