Great, just fucking GREAT!!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by despairguy, May 8, 2010.

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  1. despairguy

    despairguy Active Member

    You know, some time ago I posted a thread letting ppl know what my problems were (http://www.suicideforum.com/showthread.php?t=80769). Only 3 ppl here read the whole thing and let me know that they actually cared. Even though I wasn't in my best mood I gotta thank those 3 ppl. I actually got to think that I was gonna get through all of my shitty situation and be a better person. I thought (once again) that I should overcome my shortcomings and give myself another chance to live life.

    Ha! and u know what? I was right. The cycle of suffering goes on and on and never stops. It turned out that I actually had to swallow all my pain and "be happy". I sacrificed myself in order to help ppl who needed to be heard, I tried not to think about my ex gf or any other problems. I was doin' perfectly fine during 2 days, til I noticed ppl around me didn't give a shit about me. As soon as I helped some1 (and actually make them feel better) they ran away... of course they did, they didn't need me anymore. Then, my e-mail, my social life, my ex gf's attitude towards me and ppl in general were all the same shit, and even worse!!... ha! I was so naive to actually trust and believe in ppl again...

    After that, I skipped a whole week of classes... and u know what? nobody asked why I was absent. 3 days later since my first day of unattendance to college a "friend" tried to contact me, but as soon as she realized I was emotionally in pain, she got away... ya, this is ppl nowadays! they don't want to know about someone suffering and whining... Lucky me, I was right in all I said and thought about this damn world. I felt so self-righteous that I got a bottle of (well I can´t tell here coz they r "pro-life) from the hardware store to actually drink it the day I'm planning to take my life.

    Last time, when I post my thread, I felt like shit, debastated, hurt, etc. But know all I feel is fucking HATE!!

    That's my story so far... did u learn something? well I did: Life sucks and ppl never change, they will always look down on you, they will use u and then when they don't need u anymore, they'll throw u away just like a piece of useless trash.

    P.S: do u guys feel like u wanna say "I'm sorry"? oh fuck u!! those little shitty words mean nothing, they can't fix shit!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 8, 2010
  2. neohume

    neohume Well-Known Member

    trying to comfort friends whilst they have 'emotional' pain is something i find very difficult, most people will take a step back and wait.
    i dont think its fair to assume people dont care because their not trying to help.
     
  3. despairguy

    despairguy Active Member

    look dude, since i have use of reasoning, I've been helping ppl. an yes, it's way difficult to help ppl while being deeply in pain. But I've always been good to give advice, but I'm not good to use those pieces of advice on me. Besides, I don't think u have a clue of what my life has been, so please, if u r not gonna help don't post. If I'm here telling what's going on it's for a reason.
     
  4. ballinluig

    ballinluig Well-Known Member

    hi, ive read ur post this morning and im truely sorry that some people have given u shit. Its not nice is it when u try like hell to do whats right and no one seems to give a f**k.

    Im not a good talker to give advice as im n a place not so good here, but i wanted to say not all of us are nasty horrible folk.

    sorry, take care Donnax
     
  5. jjjoooggg2

    jjjoooggg2 Well-Known Member

    I have one friend that will listen to me forever. He does get tired though. So I only talk in brief and rarely repeat. I don't think anyone else would like to listen. Maybe, she wanted to be more than friends. And saw you as not having you stuff together yet. Women like men to have their stuff together. And you would not be ready for a relationship. And be confident, happy, content. It's all the signs of a desireable man. Life isn't fair because the depressed guy would probably be left alone. During my darkest hours I tried to keep my problems a secret. But people could tell something was not right. Yet people were insensitive with my brother's death. I found out that even my closest friends were part a hole. I guess they learned something about themselves too. I don't relie much on people anymore than I have to. I'm cynical about friendship.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 9, 2010
  6. asking_advice

    asking_advice Well-Known Member

    they are concern but they have their own problems. most of the time, we need to help ourselves. especially to us who have emotional problems.
     
  7. carekitty

    carekitty Guest

    On your other thread, to be honest, I had trouble reading it. I'm not trying to nitpick here, but if it is a long post, I need paragraphs or at least occasional breaks to be able to read it. Blame it on my old eyes, but I just have trouble keeping track otherwise. And unless I am sure I understand what someone is trying to say, I don't usually say anything.

    Not everyone is out to hurt others, or is uncaring. I'm sorry to hear that your friend ran away when she found out you were in pain. Not much of a friend. Or maybe she has her own issues, I don't know. But not everyone in your life will do that. I noticed four other people replied to you before I did, so, obviously there are people who care.

    Sometimes life does suck. But it doesn't always suck, and all people aren't rotten. You hang on through the crappy times, and hang onto the people who are worth it. That's pretty much all any of us can do.
     
  8. jjjoooggg2

    jjjoooggg2 Well-Known Member

    Sometimes people are the meanest when you down. I've been there. For some reason people treat healthy people with kindness. But if your sick, people will be either nice or sometimes really cruel. Some people have witnessed this. I have. We could ponder all the reasons why. And there is no one simple answer. It's really hard to focus on school but you'll be glad you did.

    I recall when Sally Jones told Mrs. Blagojevich that they kick you when your down on the show "I'm a Celebrity, Get me out of Here." I knew that before he said that. I told my co worker that "people will kick you when you're down." My co worker had a look of disbelief and shock on her face. She is in her twenties.

    It's almost as if people are waiting for that opportunity to knock you when your down. The only thing we can do is be healthy and you will see that there are a lot of nice people out there.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 9, 2010
  9. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    :hug: :hug:
     
  10. despairguy

    despairguy Active Member

    ya, u r completely right with ur whole post.
    trust me, I've tried, really tried but good things in life are hard to find.. *sigh
     
  11. flowingriver

    flowingriver Well-Known Member

    Oss, there are a lot of caring people on here who are waiting to talk to you and to listen. And even people who need your help. You might be an inspiration for someone to live, because you have gone through so much yourself.:mortd:
     
  12. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    You have to remember that people in general are not well prepared to deal with people suffering from emotional problems. I'm sorry that your college friend didn't try and help you, but you can't blame the world for your own suffering. Please don't drink the poison that you bought from the hardware store, because you will cause yourself unnecessary pain and suffering. Don't give up. :hug:
     
  13. Jacob1973

    Jacob1973 Well-Known Member

  14. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    You can be my inspiration to live Oss....I need your help....:hug:
     
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