My fucked up fammily is in crisis, my dad flying to a diffrent country to help my younger sister with some problems she got into. He leaving me and my mom in Ukraine. Now just to make things clear... My mom is some sort of a brainless creature, she thinks that there is no such thing as depression, and she always do what my dad telling her to do. She never do things for herself, not becouse she cant, but becouse she dont have a personality (i guess its my dads foult becouse all her life he telling her what is right and what is wrong and how to do things...) Tommorow my dad flying away, my mom is crying becouse she is too weak to stay here alone without him plus she is forced to take controll over our business here, she knows she is unable to do it, but she cant tell my dad that, so she keeps folowing my dads orders and when she will fail, and she will, my dad will blame her in EVERY SINGLE THING WRONG WITH THIS FAMMILY. My mom told me she needs me to help her becouse she wount be able to do it alone, now i know that i just cant, and i told that to her, still she told me that i have to and i have no choise, apperntly she think it makes things diffrent. In few days she will see that when im telling something, im meaning it. And then she will probbly cry again, and thats just giving me so much pain when i see her crying, and even more pain when i know it is bcouse i cant help her, and add this pain to the pain i have for the last 6 years in such situation i will kill myself 100% without second though, i really want to end it all, but i know that if i will, she will be completle alone, and my death will destroy her, she will probbly become alcholic, she already is but its not serius. So, with all my pain, i told my dad not to leve, but he dont undarstand so i just sitting here, woundering to myself, if there is such thing as burning in hell, i am in there right now, im in hell, and im in burning pain, and i have no escape. and tommorow, and the day after that, and next month, and the month after that, i will still be in hell, burning.