Hmm I got a very good letter in the mail today.I'm about to default on my student loan.Yay and they want about $7,000 dollars before the 24th for one of my loans.I think the other one might be about $5,000 that will probably default in a couple months.This is a good way to start life.Oh and I'm about 4 months dues on my credit card($750) and my checking has probably been closed.
How is someone suposed to start "life" being this far in debit.I'm doing quite well with life so far.Hmm for the past 2 years of my adult life I've gone through a heart break(probably my only hope at love and being happy with someone) that put me in a year long depression(And 2 attempts) that I'm still in.I've got kicked out of the place I lived in Rancho last year while I was in school.I went to a tech school(kinda a good thing) and then about 2/3 the way through I relized it wasn't what I wanted to do.And frankly wasn't good at it really.I got my drivers licence suspended because I didn't pay a ticket which is probably $1,500 now + fees.So even if I wanted to work with what I went to school for I wouldn't be able to.I've basically lost contact with almost all of my friends.I only talk to like 3 of them from hs.I have no love life to speak of.There was a girl that kinda had a crush on me but I wont ever try anything.And I'm sure were "just friends" now.
All these things and i'm sure there are a couple things I forgot.Has left me thinking is this my way to start my life or is this my way to end life.I had some fun years.I experienced love and romance.I experienced living on my own.the normal things that makes everyones life.I gave life a nice try.Yeah sure I wouldve liked more time and maybe a family with daddy's little girl and a picket fence but I wont ever have that.I would like just one last thing that I can do right.I would just like to end it quick n easy.I need a couple hundred dollars or maybe less.I know I could.
Damn this rant has basically left me in tears about how shitty my life is.how much of a wimp i am.how stupid i am.how big of a coward i am.And how i wont amount to anything.
How is someone suposed to start "life" being this far in debit.I'm doing quite well with life so far.Hmm for the past 2 years of my adult life I've gone through a heart break(probably my only hope at love and being happy with someone) that put me in a year long depression(And 2 attempts) that I'm still in.I've got kicked out of the place I lived in Rancho last year while I was in school.I went to a tech school(kinda a good thing) and then about 2/3 the way through I relized it wasn't what I wanted to do.And frankly wasn't good at it really.I got my drivers licence suspended because I didn't pay a ticket which is probably $1,500 now + fees.So even if I wanted to work with what I went to school for I wouldn't be able to.I've basically lost contact with almost all of my friends.I only talk to like 3 of them from hs.I have no love life to speak of.There was a girl that kinda had a crush on me but I wont ever try anything.And I'm sure were "just friends" now.
All these things and i'm sure there are a couple things I forgot.Has left me thinking is this my way to start my life or is this my way to end life.I had some fun years.I experienced love and romance.I experienced living on my own.the normal things that makes everyones life.I gave life a nice try.Yeah sure I wouldve liked more time and maybe a family with daddy's little girl and a picket fence but I wont ever have that.I would like just one last thing that I can do right.I would just like to end it quick n easy.I need a couple hundred dollars or maybe less.I know I could.
Damn this rant has basically left me in tears about how shitty my life is.how much of a wimp i am.how stupid i am.how big of a coward i am.And how i wont amount to anything.