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Greetings and Salutations

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by SirRob, Feb 1, 2008.

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  1. SirRob

    SirRob Active Member

    My name is Robert. I'm turning 20 this year. This marks the 3rd time in 6 years I've attempted. Averaging one every two years. I've been suffering from Bipolar syndrome since I was 10. While I do have scattered memories I have no true recollection of anything before I was 10. Being Bipolar has let me experience many many things. I have no friends, never really had any to begin with. My age = years without a Girlfriends (which also includes me never dating). I spend most of my time in despair. I always go from Manic episodes straight back to depression. Sometimes deeper then it was. No one has ever been there for me to help me through things so the only person I've ever had to help me is myself. As such my personality has almost split into 2. In order to combat the feelings of utter sorrow and desolation I got into watching TV series and video games and puzzles. Anything to distract myself from the reality that I am always alone. As per family I have a Mother, Father, and a younger sister. They feel nothing for me. As my parents explained to me the only reason I'm alive is because they don't believe in abortion. My sister hates me for being so different from anyone else. As per friends, they are only fair-weathered friends or less then that. They only are around when they can use me for something or want something from me. Other then that they betray and make fun of me. Never mind the about of verbal abuse, I find the physical abuse so much worse. Everyone hits me. I get punched, kicked, tripped. And these aren't just light taps. They are full on hits. After 6 years of it I have a very tough body so it doesn't hurt physically, just emotionally.

    In my home there is no such thing as hope. If you're feeling sad "Quite being a baby and grow up" or "Work your body, not your mouth". I always thought I could bear it all if someone actually loved me or cared about me. But no. I've asked a lot of girls out. 4 girls I really deeply cared about. They were simply amazing. However in true fashion like my life they rejected me. They said I was a really nice guy, but they have standards. Mind you these are girls who treat everyone nicely. Guess I'm the exception to that rule.

    While I may not be the best person to ask, if you have questions about how to distract yourself from misery or the immense sorrow you feel just ask. I've been doing it for just about a decade now.

    Simply stated, my problem is my immense logic v. my despair.

    (Sorry for being so lengthy, I'm not good at introductions)
  2. Dreamer uk

    Dreamer uk Well-Known Member

    Hi Rob, welcome to the site, I can relate to everything you say. Sorry to hear life isn't going too well for you either. Just try to hold onto some hope.

    I could probably do with some more ideas to distract me from the misery & despair of my life, PM me over your best ones.

    I know life is shit sometimes, just try to stick with it if you can.

    Hope things get better for you, take care
  3. El Mas

    El Mas Active Member

    Hey Rob I hear what your sayin. Drop those people in your life who you feel don't got your back I know it sucks to not have any friends but why keep them around if there gonna make you feel like this and that includes your sister. Live life on your terms and dont apologize about who you are to anyone. It the freaks and weirdos who shine brightest in this world.
  4. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Welcome to the forum
  5. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forum
  6. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to SF Rob. Thank you for taking the time to introduce yourself and let us know some of what you are facing. I hope you are able to find the support that you need from us. :hug:
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    hey welcome to the forum :hug:
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