Okay as you may have noticed, I may have seemed a little too cheerful for a member of this forum. I can't help but feel excited to have found this place where there are lots and lots of people like myself. I was told that I am abnormal by my own parents (for dropping out, being nocturnal, and whatnot). I think I have pretty much gave up on real life. I lost faith in humanity many times to which none was left, but I think I might grow to like this community. I have registered in some other 'depression' forums over the past couple years, and they hadn't been of any help to a significant degree. I don't usually linger too long on one website, so I may disappear without a notice if I begin to lose interest, often due to slow paced responds from the community - although I don't think that would be an issue here. I'll try to keep it shorter than intended. For starters, Hello! I am new here. 20 years old Agnostic, Demisexual. NEET, with bipolar2. I was born in a dysfunctional family. And things were very tough. I quit school before finishing grade11 highschool. And after a year of being a stay-at-home-teen, I learned that I was a queer, presumably transgender. I was very depressed before I found this place for various reasons. I finally convinced my mother to take me to a psychologist and psychiatrist. My psychologist gave up on me and I gave up on my therapies with my psychiatrist. So yes, despite being depressed and suffering from bipolar type2, I am not in medication at all. I decided this because I cannot keep any routine activity. Going to the hospital once a week? lol I don't even have the motivation to do something as basic as taking showers daily.. not to mention, FAKE attention? I won't lie, it feels good when someone knows exactly what's going on with you and treats you nicely but at the end of the day, all she cares about is the money - not me. It's her profession.. so I decided it wasn't worth it. Even though I loathe my parents, I don't want to waste their money either on very expensive medications... it makes me feel bad and worthless to be spending so much. The cognitive therapy didn't seem to work on me either but I cannot be honest with my psychiatrist as I maybe(?) subconsciously want to make her happy and naturally felt better when someone doesn't scream when talking to me... Conclusion: It wasn't working. Knowing how 'different' I am, I was certain I will never find the one for me. How am I different? That's a long story, I don't believe most of you care to read more blocks of paragraphs about a stranger you recently stumbled upon. That aside, currently I'm fired up, I guess I found a new purpose. I want to help the people here! or at least talk to them. And hopefully, I'll find someone that reminds me of myself and could help me too on this journey. I want to build a meaningful, honest relationship! A deep one too at that, where we can rely and support each other in both sunny and cloudy days! Someone who is willing to grow better together with me.. walk on the path of endless inner self improvement! MBTI type: INFJ, Ennegram type: 1w2,, I am.. glad to be here! ___________________________________________ Quick Facts: 1. I love drawing! (it comes and go with my depression) I was already admitted to an art college despite not graduating high school because my IELTS and report grades were more than sufficient. But I ended up not going because my parents weren't supportive. 2. I love anime and manga! I am interested in psychology! imo, Rainy is better than sunny! 3. I don't believe porn is justifiable nor necessary. So if you support or worship it, we're not meant to be. Thank you for reading until the end. ** if there are terms you don't understand, Google away. I tried to link them to google for your convenience but the forum won't allow me to post thread.