Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Beef, Oct 7, 2013.

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  1. Beef

    Beef New Member

    So I'm a diagnosed depression case (120mg cymbalta daily, comes off patent soon tho yay)

    My wife left me in June. With our 3 month old.
    I lost my job this week.
    Life is awesome.

    At least that's what this 155 mgs of Xanax and 500 mgs of ambien are going to help me think until the bitter end.
  2. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Beef, welcome to suicide forum. I gasped when I read that your wife left... witn your 3 month old child. And you lost your job this week. I honestly cannot imagine the pain you are in. Has your doctor prescribed the dosage of the medications you are on?

    i think you have found a good and caring community here. it is a place where you dont have to hide what you are feeling. I really am sorry for what you are going through. I hope you will post a lot and get to know people here.
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 8, 2013
  3. Beef

    Beef New Member

    Thanks for the welcome :)

    I have been prescribed the cymbalta since 09.
    The Xanax and the Ambien were recent additions to try and help me cope with what my wife has done. I am always in a state of anxiety, and can't sleep.

    We were married for 4 years, after being together for 4 before that. I gave her what she wanted, a child on her schedule.
    I always wanted children but her career was too important to put on hold. She made her decision it was time, we got pregnant the month after she came off birth control. Less than a year later, she left me.

    I make a very decent living. We both did. Everything we built is gone now. I get to see my child 101 hours a month. I've been erased. Soon I will finish what she started.
  4. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Being separated from one's little child is a horrible thing that way too many people have to endure. Some are fortunate to get more time with their child than you. But even then it is usually horrible. Its like a part of the heart is not there. Because one's child is usually so much a part of someone's heart.

    I honestly cannot imagine the pain this would cause. I have what I call "children of my heart". I have been "mommy" to them. When they moved away to another country, the loss was unbearable. I felt so unimportant in their lives. I felt like i didnt matter anymore. But i was told very clearly that these feelings are not the reality. Still it is hard.

    Every time I think its time to leave, the thought of my little girl pops into my mind. I say to myself that in time she will be okay wthout me. But I am her mommy. I know this love can never be replaced for her. And if it was taken by me, I know the pain that would cause could not be undone. I hope you will find a way to stay. Because I do not want a baby to lose his or her daddy. I believe that this is a loss that people do not recover from. I wish I had words to help with the pain. I really do.
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