Hi, I guess I jumped into the forum without really introducing myself... so here goes... I'm a 33 year old mother of two children (ages 12 & 10), in my second marriage, & have been residing in Western Canada since 2000. Before I moved, even though I had suffered depression, life at least made sense. Many things have happened since then that has contributed to the deteriorating state of mind I have today. Now, mostly I feel apathetic, I can't remember details too well, I 'lose' time (I'm still thinking we're back in September - made Christmas interesting) and I can't plan for things more than 2 days in the future. Over the past year, I had suffered really excessive high & low swings, and mixed states of Bipolar symptoms, but I've yet to be able to get anyone in the medical profession to take me seriously and have anything confirmed. I've been having really severe depression since September of this year. I have had increasingly strong impulses to hurt myself, mostly to escape things in my life I don't want to deal with because it just seems so overwhelming. I don't trust myself not to do anything impulsive & without thinking, which really scares me because I would rather live.