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I guess I jumped into the forum without really introducing myself... so here goes...

I'm a 33 year old mother of two children (ages 12 & 10), in my second marriage, & have been residing in Western Canada since 2000.

Before I moved, even though I had suffered depression, life at least made sense. Many things have happened since then that has contributed to the deteriorating state of mind I have today.

Now, mostly I feel apathetic, I can't remember details too well, I 'lose' time (I'm still thinking we're back in September - made Christmas interesting) and I can't plan for things more than 2 days in the future.

Over the past year, I had suffered really excessive high & low swings, and mixed states of Bipolar symptoms, but I've yet to be able to get anyone in the medical profession to take me seriously and have anything confirmed.

I've been having really severe depression since September of this year. I have had increasingly strong impulses to hurt myself, mostly to escape things in my life I don't want to deal with because it just seems so overwhelming. I don't trust myself not to do anything impulsive & without thinking, which really scares me because I would rather live.
:welcome: to SF WintersDawn. I know you said you were having problems getting a doctor to take you seriously. Have you contacted any therapists? If not I would suggest you try that. They can help you to get a handle on some of the feelings you are experiencing. We are here to support you the best way we can. Feel free to PM me at any time. I will get back to you as soon as I posibly can. Hang in there hun. Take care. Stay safe. :hug:

jane doe

Well-Known Member
welcome to the forum. there´s a chinese rule that says if the problem has a solution don´t worry, and if the problem hasn´t a solution what would you worry? try to get relaxed. we all here try to help each other so don´t hesitate in pm me at any time
:welcome: :hiya:

Welcome to Suicide Forum hun!! Glad you found us, the fact being that sense you joined SF that means there is still hope to live because something inside you is trying to hang on. I am sorry about all those problems, you should really try and knew psychiatrist, because it doesn't look like whoever this one is will do any good. This is you will sometimes run into shitty ones and sometimes ones and they don't mix with with you and your needs and sometimes it takes 2-3 before you find a good one but once you do it feels kinda like a load has been lifted. You need to try and get your diagnosis so they can get a plan of treatment together and you can maybe try medications.

If you need a friend I am here for you anytime, would love to get to know you. I hope you like it here and you hang around, it's always great meeting new friends that you understand and that understand you. Understanding and support are things that we really need to keep going.

:hug: :hug: :hug:

Hang in there hun, ok? and hopefully I will be seeing you around now... I am here a lot, so I'm sure we'll talk sometime, I am here everyday atleast 2 hours aday..

-With huggles,
Thank you for all the warm welcomes!

The Dr. I'm having difficulties with is only a Family Physician... I'm still on a waiting list to see a Psychiatrist. I've had to tell this family doc several times I needed help, but he's too busy too listen. It's really frustrating, especially when a few years ago, EVERYONE thought I was depressed and it was I who refused to listen or get help. There's a whole story surrounding that one that I might share at a later time, but basically it was a survival tactic that didn't work out too too well.

I just hate 'surviving'... when can I live?
Perhaps it is time to seek the help of someone that can give it to you. I do not know your background story, but I do know that talking things through with someone that understands is a very helpful thing. Sometimes they can shed light on things we never thought of. They have a larger bag of tricks to draw from than we do. I hope you do get things sorted out soon. Take care. :hug:
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