Hello. I have no intentions of hurting or killing myself. Reading the stories of misery makes my life more bearable. I thought my life had hit rock bottom until I found this forum. Now I know I have a long way to go before I sink to that. Does that make me a bad person? A little about myself. I'm not a virgin as some people on this forum are, but I've never been in love. I never seem to have anything in common with women I date, so I never really form a bond. I'm not fat or ugly, I exercise every two days and eat right. I am just isolated, removed from society part by choice part because I have no choice. I had abusive childhood. One which led to me moving into a house that had a carbon monoxide leak (without my knowledge). That leak did me much harm for many years. More harm then my abusive past. Headaches, brain damage etc. I've mostly recovered from that, except for hand tremors that get worse by the year. I had years of my life stolen from me. I can argue as much as eight years removed from my life. So many years have passed since then. The great part of my horrible past is that very few if any people were witness to it, so I can as easily claim it never happened. Eight years and nothing to show for it, oh well I can always lie about my age. Which leads me to now. I'm all alone now. Nobody knows I exist. I've been like this for months nobody asked what happened to me. I'm not even sure this is the right forum to bring this up. That's about it for now.