Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Reaper_01, Oct 5, 2007.

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  1. Reaper_01

    Reaper_01 Member


    I have no intentions of hurting or killing myself.

    Reading the stories of misery makes my life more bearable. I thought my life had hit rock bottom until I found this forum. Now I know I have a long way to go before I sink to that.

    Does that make me a bad person?

    A little about myself.

    I'm not a virgin as some people on this forum are, but I've never been in love. I never seem to have anything in common with women I date, so I never really form a bond.

    I'm not fat or ugly, I exercise every two days and eat right.

    I am just isolated, removed from society part by choice part because I have no choice.

    I had abusive childhood. One which led to me moving into a house that had a carbon monoxide leak (without my knowledge). That leak did me much harm for many years.

    More harm then my abusive past. Headaches, brain damage etc. I've mostly recovered from that, except for hand tremors that get worse by the year.

    I had years of my life stolen from me. I can argue as much as eight years removed from my life.

    So many years have passed since then. The great part of my horrible past is that very few if any people were witness to it, so I can as easily claim it never happened. Eight years and nothing to show for it, oh well I can always lie about my age.

    Which leads me to now.

    I'm all alone now. Nobody knows I exist. I've been like this for months nobody asked what happened to me.

    I'm not even sure this is the right forum to bring this up.

    That's about it for now.
  2. Dragon

    Dragon Staff Alumni

    Hi there! =) Welcome to the forum.

    Feel free to PM me. ^_^

    Take care. :hug:

  3. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum. I am sorry you suffered through the things ith not only abouse but the carbon monoxide poisoning. I am glad you found us and hope you find that you are not alone anymore. :hug:
  4. Reaper_01

    Reaper_01 Member

    I've decided to pick up where my life left off before the carbon monoxide poisoning in 1998-2000. I never finished high school 'properly' because of what happened. No prom, no graduation, no nothing. I ended up getting a GED instead.

    I'm half way done the process of upgrading the necessary high school subjects to get into university fall 2008 and start my life over.

    To all the new people I will meet I will be starting my life for the first time. They don't need to know about my past (or my real age). Until then, I'm all alone.

    I have chemistry and calculus homework to do and a unit test in derivatives next week. I'm top of my class, but still considered the 'old guy'.

    Nobody knows what I'm doing, or why I'm doing it. Quite frankly I don't care, but the isolation is driving me nuts!

    I'll stick around and read what stories are on this board when I don't feel like doing my homework.
  5. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Hello, Welcome to Suicide Forum.

    I'm sorry to hear of you abusive childhood and the things which have happened to you in the past. I can identify with an abusive childhood as others here can once you get to know others here maybe you'll realize you aren't alone. I'm sorry you feel alone and isolated. I have Agoraphobia and don't leave my Apartment much either, I isolate quite a bit. If you'd like a friend, feel free to PM me or add me to MSN messenger, my MSN is . Hang in there Hun.

    Take care. :hug:
  6. Beret

    Beret Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to SF
  7. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Welcome to sf :hug:
  8. Puddytat

    Puddytat Well-Known Member

    :welcome: to SF

    i like it... new start, no one knows you, could be an adventure :)
    sorry about your bad past, just remember that your past does not equal your future... good motto to live by. i know you cant undo the physical damage the carbon monoxide but i guess living healthy is a start.

    you are no longer alone, now ppl do know you exist, take comfort in that.
  9. Jenna

    Jenna Well-Known Member

    hello sorry about your post.

    And yes you will be noticed on here and people will care for you.

    you are welcome to pm me at anytime.
  10. Reaper_01

    Reaper_01 Member

    I'm turning 27, nobody needs to know that. I don't look it. I've always been told that I have the Michael J Fox look. As long as I don't tell anybody my past as far as I'm concerned it never happened. I live in the now. I'm also going to university in another city to study mechanical engineering then the one I'm in now. I won't be coming back here.

    The Neurologist says that the Parkinson's like symptoms won't hit me full on until I'm in my mid 40s. I will need help buttoning up my shirts by then.

    Until that time I have a few productive years ahead of me.
  11. Lead Savior

    Lead Savior Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forum sir
  12. xashleyTX

    xashleyTX Guest

    Welcome to SF.
  13. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Welcome here :hug:
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