Discussion in 'Welcome' started by JM18, Mar 11, 2009.

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  1. JM18

    JM18 Active Member

    First of all i must say that i'm a very rational person, which kind-of screws everything up for me.

    I'm an 18 year old guy, Jack is the name by the way and well, i don't have any excuse to be depressed, i haven't been through any horrible accident, i haven't lost anyone really close to me or anything like that.

    I hate blaming the world or anyone for what's wrong with me, if i'm depressed, it's my own fault, and that doesn't really help.

    If you want to know why i'm depressed, then let's put it this way, the only truly happy years of my life are the years that i don't remember. Since i was like 6 - 7 i was taunted by my brothers for a disease or illness i had... Noone outside the family knew about it, but occasionally, my brothers would ofcourse hint to some of my friends, well simply because they liked to see me feel crap.

    Then after i got rid of my disease (it was a genetic thing, my dad had it and his dad etc. etc. , lasted usually until the age of 12 - 15, 12 in my case) I started being mocked at school for not adapting to changes going on with my body not quickly enough. All the while, my brothers continued with the mocking about my disease although it had long been gone. So until i was like 16 i was mocked for both at school and at home. Then after that, at school, they stopped mocking because i was already a loner. At home, they chose my weight. I'm not fat, far from it, but as i don't work out, i have an extra pound or two, and that was enough for them to mock me.

    Now at school i don't have any good friends, and that goes the same for outside school. So i spend most of my days just sitting in front of a computer, playing games.

    I know this was an annoyingly long post, and has a lot of whining... which trust me, already make me feel like crap. But i am the kind of person who doesn't really know what to say and when usually does say something, it's too much, too weird or too personal.

    Well hey, if you've bothered to read so far, you can really congratulate yourself for having a lot of spare time or actually giving a crap.

    Either way, wanted to say hey. (sorry about the spellingmistakes, not English here... nor American)
  2. JM18

    JM18 Active Member

    Oh and btw. i'm fairly pessimistic about this, but we'll see.
    I made a post mostly because i've been especially depressed during the past few weeks, and about 20 minutes ago tried hanging myself in a primitive way.

    It hurt my throat too much so i'll either wait until weekend comes i can get drunk and try then or i'll wait until i get really sleepy and simply fall asleep with the " noose " closing airways.

    Wish me luck.
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    welcome to sf :)
  4. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hi JM18 and welcome to SF!
  5. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forum Jack. Glad you have found us. There are a lot of good people here and personally I know the place has saved my life. Hope it can be a help for you too. Best wishes. S.:smile:
  6. LastCrusade

    LastCrusade Well-Known Member

  7. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    welcome x
  8. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum. I hope you find support and are able to get through this tough time. Please take care and stay safe. :hug:
  9. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    hi hun....welcome to s.f. . . . i am glad you came here and i hope you find support.

    and. .. i think your english is great. no worries. better than mine and i'm american. :rolleyes::rolleyes: and, nothing you said was too long, too personal, or too weird, you are just fine.

    here, we offer acceptance, not judgment.
    feel free to reach out, pm me, or anyone else here, and keep posting. . .:hug:
  10. Leiaha

    Leiaha Well-Known Member

    Hi Jack and welcome to sf :welcome:
    You no longer need to suffer alone, we are here to offer support if you want it :yes:
    Talk to us and see if we can help, you never know until you try :wink:

    Children, especially siblings can be very hurtful I know. Are things any better with your brothers now you are older?

    Please stay safe and hang out here instead. Pm me or anyone else if you feel more comfortable talking privately.
    Lea :hug:
  11. xan

    xan Chat Buddy

    Welcome to sf
  12. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    Hey Jack.

  13. Starlite

    Starlite Senior Member

    Welcome to SF!
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