Discussion in 'Welcome' started by milner, Aug 1, 2010.

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  1. milner

    milner Member

    Hello to all of you!
    The reason I joined this forum is that I'm affraid that my life will go downhill and I just can't go on...
    The reason is..well...broken heart :(
    I'm a 20 years old man and I've been in a relationship almost 3 years and I know it will end soon!
    This week has been the tuffest week in my whole life 'cause my sweetheart is tired and want's something new..something fresh and I know she's in love with someone else (she just met him..aarrghhh) :(
    We have the same friends (I love in a small country town) and I know I will be alone with my problems!
    The thing is...she's going to college this autumn and you can immagine how many new faces she will meet!
    Me..I'm stuck in this town for a year, 'cause I dropped out from high school several years ago (I had some serious issues)...I didn't find the confidence to go back to school until last year when I went back and I'm doing really really well (A-s and B-s in every subject) I have one year remaining til I can go to college myself (to study history)..but how in the earth I will survive this year.
    I'm all alone and this is driving me nuts...
    I don't have many freinds (don't communicate with these hicks who are living here) best friend went to Australia and others are friends with my girl!

    I was so happy and full of joy with her! She gave me the confidence and the reason I'm the person who I am right now! These years were the best in my life!!! I thought she was love of my live, I still think so...
    I know she cares about me and loves me, but I have the feeling we don't last long.
    I know I have to find new faces..but I LOVE her so so much..It's so frustrating..gggrrrrr

    PS. sorry about some typos, 'cause English isn't my first language (I live in Estonia, EU) :)
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    just want to say hi and hope you and your friend can work things out maybe even go to couple councilling or something glad your here
  3. Soul of a Dragon

    Soul of a Dragon Well-Known Member

    Pretty much same thing happened to me, 3 years with the love of my life.
    She left me for new adventures.

    I don't think I can say it like Rathis does in his post here

    Btw I am originally from Latvia :D
  4. milner

    milner Member

    Thank you guys!
    The couple councilling would be a great idea, I've thought about it.
    And Soul of the Dragon, nice to see neighbors :)
    Yea..our situation is similar.
    The funny part is that I've always been loving and caring towards my gf!
    I have shown my feelings and treated her like a princess :)
    She has had some issues about showing her feelings from the beginning...but we always have overcome our problems!
    Believe or not, but we have never shouted or yelled at each other!

    Yestederday we decided to make a "pause" to try to strenghten our feelings..
    This was my idea, 'cause I saw this is our only hope!
    I've been thinking and I have to enjoy my some old friends and party a bit.
    I really don't want to lose her and therefore it's the right and only thing to do!
    And even when things won't play out, I want her to be in my life...not right now, but in the future..we are after all our best friends and solmates to (I hate this word, but it is so)

    I just have to be strong and think that way the whole time!
    Let's see what tomorrow will bring :)
  5. Soul of a Dragon

    Soul of a Dragon Well-Known Member

    You are handling it way better than I did :D
  6. milner

    milner Member

    Well I don't know how I will handle it tomorrow or day after it :D but right now I'm feeling that way..
    I just want the best and don't wanna feel depressed :)

    I have to be strong, I have to be strong..huuuh..stay strong!!
  7. Hershey

    Hershey New Member


    Just wanted to say hi to everyone. I've never been on one of these forums and have mainly kept things to myself and gotten through them with time. But this time, I feel like I need to reach out. I'm not here because I want to die. I'm here because I want to live, but everything is telling me that dying might be the better option.

    I'm just going through a lot of stuff right now, and hopefully this place can keep me strong, because it's so, so easy to give up. To just lie down and never have to open my eyes again seems like such a tempting option.

    Maybe one day, I'll get through it and be able to help others, but right now, I'm the one who needs help. So here I am.
  8. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Re: Hello

    Hi milner and welcome to SF. I'm so sorry to hear that you and your girlfriend will be breaking up, but breaking up is a part of life. You have to date people until you find the right person to marry. Sometimes, the person you're in love with may seem like the right person, but he/she may not be. Only time will tell. I'm sure you will meet someone else eventually. Don't give up. :hug:
  9. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum. i am glad you chose to join us. That shows you are looking for support and trying to see what options are available to you for healing. :hug:
  10. milner

    milner Member

    Thank you, I'm really appreciated :)

    Today we saw each other...her sister is getting married and we are cleaning their old farmhouse where the marriage will be held.
    At the beginning I saw that she's interested and wanted to talk, but I stood tall and talked very little...and later she didn't show any emotions and was cold as a rock..haah.

    It's so hard not to talk to her..not to hug and kiss her :(
    But I promised myself I won't call her..I want her to call me!
  11. Black Beauty

    Black Beauty Well-Known Member

    Have you ever read a book called The Game by Neil Strauss? It's about a man who was in his 30s or 40s and had never had sex before, let alone have a girlfriend. He was at the tipping point and felt like he was destined to be alone for the rest of his life - but then he meets someone who teaches him how to 'pick-up' girls and he suddenly goes from being a loser to womaniser.

    I'd recommend looking up reviews of it on the internet to see if it might be something you might find useful.

    Alternatively you can try David DeAngelo's dating tips e-letter, here's a sample:

    There are a few particular things that REALLY annoy single, attractive women.

    One of the reasons that these things annoy women is because they're DEAL KILLERS.

    A woman can like everything about you, but if you do these things (or even ONE of these things), it can DESTROY your chances of success.

    Here are three of the BIG things that single women hate:

    Giving Up Your Status In Exchange For Her Attention And Approval

    If I had to describe the one single thing that both annoys women and DESTROYS a guy's chances, it would be this.

    It has taken me a long time to see this particular pattern, but it's EVERYWHERE.

    Men, in effect, say “Hi, I want your approval and attention. I'm willing to let YOU be the one who's in control… and let YOU call the shots… and do anything to please YOU… if you'll give me your attention and approval”.

    But the problem is that women DON'T WANT you to give up your status and “ manliness”.

    Women aren't ATTRACTED to men who act weak and tentative.

    Women secretly HATE IT when a guy does something to demonstrate that he'll give away his power in return for approval.


    I could literally write an entire book on this one single concept.

    Take a few minutes to think this one over, and maybe write down the ways that you make this mistake with women.

    More importantly, think about how you're going to STOP DOING IT IMMEDIATELY.

    Women secretly HATE IT when a guy does something to demonstrate that he'll give away his power in return for approval.

    Being Needy, Clingy, And Insecure

    When one person “clings” to another person “psychologically”, the person who is being “clinged to” RESENTS and REJECTS the needy, clingy emotional parasite…

    This is WUSS behavior at its worst.

    If a guy is on the phone with a girl he just met, and she says “Hey, I have to go”, he might say “Aw, well… um …OK. Um, will you call me when you get home? ”

    And an even worse example is a guy who is so emotionally insecure that he actually ASKS a woman to tell him that he's nice, fun, interesting, etc.

    “Do you think I'm interesting? ”

    “Do you think we could ever have a relationship? ”

    “Am I your type? ”

    Women HATE this stuff. It makes them shiver with the heebie-jeebies. It makes them want to RUN AWAY.

    Not Understanding Attraction

    This is a BIGGIE.

    Women can INSTANTLY FEEL IT when they're with a guy who “gets it”.

    Women know very quickly if they're talking to a guy who understands himself and women… and who enjoys creating and building sexual tension.

    Women know if a guy speaks the SECRET LANGUAGE of “Sexual Communication”.

    If he doesn't, then she stops all communication on that level.

    If he does, then it continues.

    ATTRACTION Isn't A Choice.

    Attraction is an emotional and physical RESPONSE… and you can't “convince” a woman to feel it with logic, gifts, and NICENESS.

    Attraction is the result of a woman meeting a man who understands how attraction works… and who knows what to do in each specific situation to progress to the next level.

    The PROBLEM with ATTRACTION, and with success with women in general is that the things you need to DO to be successful are NOT OBVIOUS.

    They're “counter intuitive”, in many cases.

    In other words, they're the OPPOSITE of what you'd THINK would make sense.

    You have to do things like CREATE TENSION… stop doing something that she likes… give her time to miss you… etc.

    Now that I've shared these three mistakes, you need the next piece of the puzzle. You need to get an education on how attraction works for women… and the RIGHT things to do up front to give her those emotional/physical feelings inside.

    As educational as this has been, this is only the beginning.

    If you're starting to realize how important it is to get this area of your life handled, then I recommend you make a commitment and take your education to a WORLD CLASS level.

    And what's the best way to do that?

    Well, I've spent the last several years of my life figuring out exactly what does and doesn't work with women.

    I figured this stuff out for MYSELF… and then I took what I've learned and put it all together to help others learn as well.

    “My Double Your Dating eBook” represents THOUSANDS of hours of research, testing, getting to know guys who were successful with women, and generally organizing every level of this knowledge into an easy-to-understand system that ANY guy can use to increase his success with women and dating.

    And I'll tell you something…

    It works.
  12. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    And this is essentially why nice guys finish last... ;)
  13. milner

    milner Member

    It's been a while since I last posted!
    Now it's official - we are done :sad:
    Well the whole "pause" thing ended well...she contacted one night (we were both out drinking) and we just couldn't hide our emotions and spent a beautiful night together!
    Since then we were together again...but it wasn't the same...we both felt this way! But it seemed that we could repair our relationship when the faithful night came!
    We had a fight (it was a stupid one) and she said "let's end this once and for all"
    I got really pissed and left...the next day she called and apologized that it had ended that way, but I stood tall.
    The same night I was having fun with my friends and was really drunk..then she called and wanted to see me! I cracked and was sitting alone in the bench near the bar and crying! I could tell she was also very drunk, so I told "I'm going to take you home".
    She fell into my arms and we went to hers appartment. Then she started to cry and got very hysterical..she just cried and cried..she told me that she loves me so much and regretted.
    I stayed there for the night 'cause she just wouldn't let me go and quite frankly, I didn't want to leave either!
    The next morning when I woke up, she was already awake...we talked and talked, but stayed appart.
    Yesterday she contcted me through the skype and told me how miserable she is and how she's regretting the whole thing! The hardest thing is that we both love eachother so much!
    We decided that we need to talk soon (personally)...and right now I'm so confused..what should I think, what should I do??
    I feel that I can't live without her... :(
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