'Grey Rape' Bullsh*t. What do you think?

Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by Patch, Apr 4, 2008.

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  1. Patch

    Patch Well-Known Member

    The Aug 2007 issue of Cosmo has an article about what they call 'grey rape'. I pulled this off a feminist blog site because they say it so much better than I can.

    "This issue is currently a hot one out in blog-land so I thought I’d weigh in. Cosmopolitan magazine (a bastion of feminist values, I know) has an article this month called “A New Kind of Date Rape,” in which they define what they’re calling “Grey Rape,” an act that is “a kind of sex that falls somewhere between consent and denial.”

    Via this article the author (Laura Session Stepp) makes the distinction between “gray rape cases” and “more clear-cut date rapes,” despite the fact that every woman cited in the article was clearly forced into sex (which is rape, duh!) This new definition of “sort-of-but-not-really-maybe-rape” is troubling because it further perpetuates a blaming of the victim and attempts to excuse a crime that is clearly a crime. In many ways, Cosmo is saying “it’s not rape if you agreed to make out,” “it’s not rape if you had a lot of alcohol,” or even better (worse,) “it’s not rape if you passed out.”

    It’s not like I’m surpised Laura Session Stepp wrote this article, because she also wrote Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love and Lose at Both, where she first used the term. I’m not surprised but I’m still disgusted. Feministing had this to say:

    (The term Grey Rape) creates a new category that suggests it’s not-quite-rape if you say “no” while drunk, or you say “no” to intercourse after you’ve said “yes” to making out. To not straight-up call it rape diminishes it and excuses it. It goes from a crime to simply impolite or bad behavior.

    Thankfully there’s this: The NYC Media Response Project Letter Writing Campaign, “There’s No Such Thing as Grey Rape.” They’re calling it “a Call to Action against misinformation about rape spread by Cosmopolitan magazine in their September issue in an article called, A New Kind of Date Rape.” Here’s why they think you should get involved:

    If this term gets popularized, particularly by the same political segment that attacked the documentation of acquaintance rape in the eighties, victims will be even less likely to come forward or seek help."


    What do you guys think?
  2. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    This disgusts me. How the fuck can they (that Laura person) say such things!!!! :eek:hmy: It's utterly disgusting that anyone would even CONSIDER thinking that there's something like 'grey rape'. Fucking moron. I hope she rots in hell.

    NO MEANS NO! Whether, you're drunk, high, or god knows what. And if you're passed out, that means NO as well. Jeezz, is it so fucking hard to understand. I cannot believe anyone would come up with such bull-shit. Clearly this person has fallen on the head when she was young.

  3. Patch

    Patch Well-Known Member

    exactly. what really pisses me off, is when a guy says something like "well, she shouldn't drink so much." Its like fine, next time YOU pass out, I'll violate YOU with a bottle, and then tell you its your own fault. :mad:
  4. Sa Palomera

    Sa Palomera Well-Known Member

    Exactly! How can people not GET that no means no. Seriously where did the idea come from that "no means yes" which some guys still use as an excuse :furious:

    Argh, this really is infuriating :dry: :furious:
    I'm glad that Laura person doesn't live anywhere near me, cos I think I'd lose it. :mad:
  5. carol2237

    carol2237 Guest

    Ummmm.... That is really hard to believe, how can people think that? ... all i can say is that said "Laura" must never have been raped or she would know what it is like. It is so wrong on so many levels >.<

  6. Believe

    Believe Well-Known Member

    This makes me so, so angry. I can't believe that Cosmo would write an article like this - are they unaware that the numerous women who read their magazine that have been assaulted are now going to call into question the validity of their attacks? I stopped getting the magazine because I moved several times and didn't want to keep switching my address, and now I'm glad - I wouldn't want to read this misogynistic trash. Shame on you, Cosmo.
  7. Dave_N

    Dave_N Guest

    Cosmo is not a very good magazine anyway, so it doesn't really surprise me that they would print that garbage. I only occasionally glance through it to see the 'amazing sex tips' that they usually have.
  8. Patch

    Patch Well-Known Member

    Cosmo is an amazing magazine....it tells us ladies all about how to land a man! And they just keep coming up with ways we can please them! lucky us :laugh:
  9. Hae-Gi

    Hae-Gi Banned Member

    Absolutely disgusting. Rape is rape, even if you'd walk around naked.
  10. Ire

    Ire Guest

    Rape is wrong yes.

    But people shouldn't be stupid either.
  11. Patch

    Patch Well-Known Member

    what do you mean?
  12. Ire

    Ire Guest

    Going to a party and getting so drunk you pass out with people you've never met before.
  13. The_Discarded

    The_Discarded Staff Alumni

    Sorry, I gotta say I agree here.

    Not to say anyone "asked for it," so don't infer that.

    Just saying, instead: if you walk into a bunch of branches, don't you expect to have your face scratched up?

    Annoying article, nonetheless. Quite unsympathetic to victims.
  14. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    That pisses me off so much. :mad:

    'Course, I do have to agree with Ire. But still.
  15. Patch

    Patch Well-Known Member

    You're not blaming the victim, are you?
  16. Patch

    Patch Well-Known Member

    what? Very bad example. Excuse me while I go to a rapist party and expect I have the right not to be raped. wtf? Nobody wants to hang out with a group of violent rapists, and even if that was the case they still have the right to be safe. That isn't the case, however, people are going to parties with people they know and trust. If someone takes advantage of the fact that the victim drank to much, we blame the victim?
  17. Ire

    Ire Guest


    But I am saying if your that stupid maybe you shouldn't be surprised when bad happens.

    And that goes for anything.
  18. Patch

    Patch Well-Known Member

    no, that doesn't go for anything, especialy personal safety.
  19. Ire

    Ire Guest

    You make me go lulz. Go have fun putting yourself in dangerous situations and then being completely taken by surprise when something bad happens. :laugh:
  20. Patch

    Patch Well-Known Member

    :smile: way to actualy back up your argument! thanks for the 'well wishes', you aren't very subtle about the kind of person you are. good luck with that in life, kid.
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