Grief and Suicide Mom Died 2 weeks ago on Mother's Day

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by PumpkinParamour, May 25, 2014.

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  1. PumpkinParamour

    PumpkinParamour New Member

    My mother died 2 weeks ago on Mother's Day. During the day I can put on the mask the emotionless I am ok mask. The only reason I can though is my sister is visiting from half way around the world and on Monday she goes back and I wont see her again for years. Already all night I cry when no one can hear me and the thoughts creep in. You know the kind. I am disabled and make basically no money, my mom who died 2 weeks ago on mothers day was the sole financial float we had. She didn't leave a will or anything and we are losing the house. So now not only did my mother die on Mother's Day but I am looking at homelessness to go with it. Did I mention I have borderline personality disorder? So I don't just cry , I wail and want to go with her. I feel a burden like me should have died not her. I don't see a future. Every night I fight thee thoughts but every night they get louder. How long can a person hold out before they give in?
     
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi PumpkinParamour, Sorry to hear about your loss. The death of a family member is hard and suffering depression makes it's twice as hard. Given the loss of financial support does not help matters either. You may think what's the point of living, but there is. You are NOT a burden as an individual you have right to live your life. It's hard at the moment but please speak to someone about your situation. Also, cannot you speak to someone about social housing and support. It's hard at the moment but you can get through it but one day at a time. Just do not be sad but think about the good times you had with your mom. Please take care and keep posting.
     
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there, I'm so sorry for your loss, it must have been and still is incredibly hard to cope with. I too have borderline personality disorder but I have it under control. As far as your situation with being homeless goes, I have no clue of your location but there must be somewhere you can ask about emergency housing, look into that, im sure there will be info on the internet...best of luck to you :hug:
     
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Talk to your doctor ok or talk to someone in the community who can and will help you get some into housing ok
    Your mom did not have a will so it will go to state until it can be dealt with but until then there has to be emergency housing set up in the community ask ok the head of your community for help

    I know you are sad and it is ok to cry it is part of the grieving process ok cry but then try to do something to keep your mothers memory alive something she would have liked
     
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