My mother died 2 weeks ago on Mother's Day. During the day I can put on the mask the emotionless I am ok mask. The only reason I can though is my sister is visiting from half way around the world and on Monday she goes back and I wont see her again for years. Already all night I cry when no one can hear me and the thoughts creep in. You know the kind. I am disabled and make basically no money, my mom who died 2 weeks ago on mothers day was the sole financial float we had. She didn't leave a will or anything and we are losing the house. So now not only did my mother die on Mother's Day but I am looking at homelessness to go with it. Did I mention I have borderline personality disorder? So I don't just cry , I wail and want to go with her. I feel a burden like me should have died not her. I don't see a future. Every night I fight thee thoughts but every night they get louder. How long can a person hold out before they give in?