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Groupthink and Deindividuation helped ruin my life...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by LightInTheDarkestNight, Sep 20, 2013.

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  1. LightInTheDarkestNight

    LightInTheDarkestNight Well-Known Member

    We're all effected by groupthink and deindividuation.. Groupthink happens in all kinds of groups, for example gangs, small communities such as SF.

    A lack of impartial leadership aids in the process of groupthink. I'll use SF as an example when moderators are good friends with a member or another moderator and they barely know someone else, they'll likely overlook any insults in chat especially if their somewhat subtle or not outright swearing. Another example is if there is some kind of dispute they will side with their friend(s) or "ingroup", and are very likely to support their friends viewpoint, even when their is a lack of information and any kind of judgment would be arbitrary.

    Gangs and groups where violence is advocated, perpetrated and used to "solve problems" is where groupthink and deindividuation can get really nasty but they're both all over this world. Not that bullying or other similar things without violence can't have nasty and long lasting effects.

    Some people's ignorance when it comes to the "outgroup" and significantly underrating their ability to make decisions, has helped take my life to this horrible place. Once someone thinks they know you they develop a bias or a kind of a label for you in their mind, their judgment becomes clouded and then factor in groupthink and it can have a very bad outcome...

    People often mean well when groupthink is exercised not that it really makes it any better when the outcome is negative. For example the "black sheep" of a family may in certain context be viewed as being in an "outgroup" and the parents relationship together is the "ingroup". Then factor in any past judgments that have created biases or labels in the parents minds toward the black sheep and they will likely greatly overrate their own judgment while underrating their childs.

    When a gang or some kind of group views you as their enemy you are now in the "outgroup", now of course these enemies won't be wanting good things for you like the example listed above, but the same kind of factors come into play such as having biases and a skewed view of things, along with group think it's not a good combo

    I just wish things were different I made lot's of bad choices I'm upset with myself, hurt and also upset with the world how things turned out like this when I had become a better person but I guess some things you can never get away from.. Like the 2pac song changes "cause I always got to worry about the pay backs some buck that I roughed up way back coming back after all these years Rat-a-tat-tat-tat-tat that's the way it is uhh. "
    A few years ago i wanted to never make the mistakes I did as a teenager and be a better person but since then things have turned out worse then I could have ever imagined, it's totally depressing so I just try not to think about it...

    Anyways that's it for me, I was feeling sad and depressed laying down trying to sleep in my room and I looked up some stuff I previously learned, and got to thinking...
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 20, 2013
  2. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    That's well put together. I can fully understand what you mean about certain aspects of communities - and using the example you have rings true from what I have seen.
  3. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I've seen groupthink in action, but not here on SF. If members have issues with other members, Mods, CMs, or Admins, we always want to hear about it, and that can be done in the Letters to the Management forum.

    I'm sorry that you have had bad experiences in life with this groupthink process. Sounds like some sort of bullying and ostracizing from the group. That can really hurt. Sadly, it can influence how supervisors see us at work. It can make teachers think we must be "difficult" to get along with. But some employers and some teachers know better and make efforts to stop groupthink. I'm sorry you didn't encounter better support.

    Sure seems you've had some rough times. However, here you are today, surviving, even though you endured bad treatment from others in the past. How about just talking and maybe becoming pals with me and others here? I think you deserve that chance to be part of a supportive group. Would you be willing to give it a try? Your past experiences don't have to dog you your entire life. :arms:
  4. meaningless-vessel

    meaningless-vessel Well-Known Member

    I'm not completely convinced by that. Putting in a grievance against a Mod/Admin into LTM where they can read it can lead to potential lies being spun - or lack of action. Either that or the member putting that issue in - could end up being treated differently when the staff member is either having a bad day or just doesn't like what's been said about them.

    It may not necessarily be groupthink behaviour - but when I've seen illegal activities mentioned (and yes - I have quoted reference to the guideline in the FAQ where anything considered illegal in the UK, US and/or Australia is not tolerated) - and they've either not been removed from thread (speeding is responsible is the most recent example - but it breaks the law... ) - or not been followed up - it does bring about a cause for concern. Whether it's discussing illegal substances in the chat - peeing in public places by people who have the capacity to use proper facilities (being drunk on a night out is no excuse - it's self inflicted and illegal to deface/defoul property in that manner in the UK at least) - or breaking the law - it would honestly be better to follow it up. Discussions about legalising suicide - however debateabe - are, in my mind, encouraging it in some way. Make it legal - and there's no reason for authorities to get involved any more to prevent it. Kinda smacks of encouragement.

    And that's all I'm gonna say for now.
  5. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    If this is going to be turned into a mod bashing thread then the thread will be closed. The OP raised some good points so it would be a shame to have to close the thread.
  6. LightInTheDarkestNight

    LightInTheDarkestNight Well-Known Member

    I feel the mods do there best here, no one is perfect, were all human and coping with our own problems. Not that it wouldnt be nice if some humans were perfect!

    Reminds me of a joke "i spent my whole life looking for the perfect girl and when i found her she was looking for the perfect guy" IE not you... Haha

    I find it interesting understanding and breaking down human behavior in a way its a defense mechanism in order to cope with what ive been through and why my life is in the place that it is.

    I know living in the past or worrying about the future isnt good all you can do is enjoy the present but if there are people who wish harm on you from your past and will likely act on that eventually then its not something you can "move on from" fully. Factor in a rough past and its not a good situation.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 20, 2013
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