Grr...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Dragon, Aug 20, 2006.

  1. Dragon

    Dragon Staff Alumni

    Yeah, I wasn't gonna put this on here, 'cause I think I've put a couple of people through it already, but I'm still really annoyed, so I'm gonna rant here as well.

    I have a mate, online. I won't say his name just in case he wouldn't want me to. I've known him over a year. We talk all the time on msn, on the phone, texting, etc. My parents said I could meet him if we could agree on a mid-point, 'cause he lives a few hours away, so I was really happy about that, and he was as well.

    Then, since I though I should be honest with them, I told them a little about him. As soon as the word 'depressed' came up, their point of view instantly changed. Suddenly it's 'oh, no, you can't meet him if he's 'like that.'.

    Like it's some kind of disease or something! What do they think, that I can catch it? That talking to people with depression makes you depressed? I have many good friends, mostly from here, who have depression in varying degrees and it's never affected me.

    I was telling this to Robin, and he said that they just want to protect me and keep anything from harming me. Well, they are harming me right now. It's hurting so badly that they won't let me see him. They don't understand how much I want to meet him and actually be able to have him right in front of me.

    Gods, I hate them so much right now.

    Perhaps if I talk to them, I can make them see sense. I just have to make sure I don't lose my cool and start yelling, because no doubt they'll lose it first. Well, my mum will anyway.

    Jerks...
     
  2. kath

    kath Well-Known Member

    Awwwww hun im sorry your in this situation.i htink Robin is probably very right in that they probably are just trying ot protect you etc.However i hear your pain and understand that them taking this approach is not something you find helpful but personally i think it would be good to talk ot them again.Asy you say its important you remain calm in theis conversation [and my opinion] and even if they dont.Becuase that wil show them that your trying to discuss this sensibly and htoughtfully and that you actually may have some very sensible things to say to counter their concerns and arguments and that your words deserve to be heard.i wish i could suggest more but i really hope that you can all come to some compromise on this.And i think it would be really brave of if you could sit down with them and expalin or even write to them if its easier [i sometimes find writing easier but doesnt always suit everyone] and let them know your reasons for having wanted to meet up with this person,how you would make sure this meeting would be a sfe one if you decide to meet with this person form the internet if youve not met before [ie what safeguards could you put in place eg like meeting in a busy public place] and how their reaction to this sitaution is bothering,effecting and upsetting you.

    i know their reaction is frustrating and im sorry for you but i think it may at least get you further if you can all sit down together and talk and you can point out reasons,valid points and that you have thought seriously about this and thought htings through rather than if they just shout at you and you just shout back type of htings.Not saying you would shout or anything!i hjust havent explained very well but hope you know what i mean.

    Dont know if this will help and sorry for my waffle.Hufgs hun.We are her efor you and im certainly always here as is my PM box/email too!!!!!!!

    PLease take good care,you are valuable.
    kath

    xxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  3. Dragon

    Dragon Staff Alumni

    Thanks Kath.

    Yeah, I know I need to talk to them, and I know I need to be calm about it. I was talking about writing it down with someone else on msn, but I think that, with my style of writing, there would be too much room for misinterpretation and I'd probably end up getting yelled at anyway.

    -sigh-

    I have no problem with them coming, being right there when I meet him, in the middle of a public place, no problem at all. They even know what he looks like - he has a webcam.

    It just seems like they immediately associate being depressed with being suicidal and they don't want me talking to 'people like that'.

    They wonder why I don't tell them anything about who I talk to, or myself. Well, when I do tell them things, they react like this. They freaked out when they heard me talking to Robin on Skype because he's a man. If it had been a thirty-odd year old woman they wouldn't have minded.

    I don't trust them. Not one bit.
     
  4. allofme

    allofme Staff Alumni

    hugs
    as a once over protective parent i can say that to have parents who can and are willing to protect you is a blessing... this site is filled with ppl whos parents not only cared enough to help them but were in some cases the cause of the harm....

    now that said... talk with them and find out what they are fearful of ... talk it out and come to a compromise... maybe they can meet him too... tell them you are willing to go with guidlines they set...

    remind them that they raise you smart and that if indeed this person was a danger to you ... you would have been harmed long ago by him as you have been talking for a year already....

    and while you are at it ... thank them for caring so much .... and ask them to begian to trust and teach you to live safely...

    hugs... hope it works out ...
     
  5. Dragon

    Dragon Staff Alumni

    I managed to work it out with them, eventually.

    Mm.

    Though I refuse to thank them. It's nice they love me and all, but sometimes too much protection is stifling. They might trust me, I don't know, but I don't trust them and I haven't since I was about ten years old.

    That's just the way it is, I suppose.
     
  6. allofme

    allofme Staff Alumni

    i am sorry to hear your relationship with your parents is not the best .. i do hope you all can come to an agrement that makes everyone happy... and i do hope you get to meet your friend...
     
  7. Wonderstuff

    Wonderstuff Staff Alumni

    My mum and dad are the same way. However, I just don't tell them that *everyone* I know online comes from here. Well, not everyone *does*. Sometimes I make up who comes from where though.
    ...Actually when I first met someone from this site (and there have only been two so far, lol), I told my parents that my friend had actually met him when he came up to a thing at her church...
    They believed me, too.
    But last night I was on myspace and my mum came in and took control of the mouse. I didn't know what she was doing, but she was reading the profile of a friend of mine from here. There was a survey on it and she read out a couple of the answers, and then went, with a funny look on her face, "Is he depressed?"
    Grrr.
    :hug:
    I'm glad you got it sorted out though. And someone can meet you in real life even if I can't! :laugh: