grrr at myself

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by meagainstme, Jul 11, 2007.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. meagainstme

    meagainstme Well-Known Member

    so yeh im at my gfs house on monday night and her mom informs me that she is pulling a surprise party for my gf the following night and to make sure she doesnt go home before 6.
    so all day i am stressing. i HATE lying and i knew i would have to be around all these ppl.
    i knew my gf would hate it. and she did.
    i stood there all night basically hyperventilating hatin every minute of it. my gf knew i was scared to death and kept apologising. which makes me feel so bad!!
    i wish i didnt react like this. sometimes i feel so 'normal' like nothing will phase me. but then as soon as im around more than 2 ppl, im a mess.

    and i swear these guys in the shop were laughin at me.

    my gf had to hide this piece of broken glass from me so i wouldnt cut. what a fucking mess i am.
    i loathe myself. i do.
    im such an embarrassment. i just need to GET OVER IT. but my fucking mind wont let me.
  2. Vorath

    Vorath Guest

    Well done.....even though you knew how bad it was going to be and how stressed out you were, you still managed to go to the party. Give yourself some credit for being able to face your fears.....even if only a little....and managing to get through it.
  3. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Exactly. I know how you feel in a way. You need to give yourself credit. The good thing is that you recognise this and won't it to stop.
    That's the first step to beating this. Good luck.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.