Grrr! BPD! Grrr!

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Gothic-Midnight-Rose, Mar 28, 2007.

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  1. Gothic-Midnight-Rose

    Gothic-Midnight-Rose Active Member

    Ok, so I have the most amazing fiancee ever but I also have BPD.
    I know my fiancee loves me but I keep pushing him away. I don't mean too. I'm just terrified of getting hurt.

    It's that whole "I love you, go away, I hate you, please stay thing" and I hate it.
    At times I push him away so much, at other times I'd do anything not to lose him.

    I'm such a screw up :(
  2. LeaveMeAlone

    LeaveMeAlone Well-Known Member

    Have you explained all this to him?
  3. Scum

    Scum Well-Known Member

    I agree, if you can talk to him about it it might help him understand more, and realise it is not a personal thing, but an echo from your past and your illness.

    Also, maybe try and educate him about BPD generally. And maybe something like relationship threapy? And are you in therapy?

    It's hard having BPD and being in a relationship, and it is so important to communicate as much as you can with your boyfriend.

    Take care of yourself
  4. LeaveMeAlone

    LeaveMeAlone Well-Known Member

    I know it might sound like a weird angle but I have experience of none conventional relationships. perhaps you could give him so symbol that you don't want him to ever, ever let you go, no matter what you might say or do at the time.

    In BDSM we wear a collar, that is usually locked round the neck, for the sake of it passing in the "vanilla" world, it is usually just a decorative metal band, or a chain, tho women can get away with wearing leather.

    I'm not sure if such a thing would be even close to suitable for you, and it certainly is not a substitute for talking and explaining things. But it can help you remember when you mind goes to the wrong place.

    Maybe you could do something permanent like get a tattoo?

    again I'm just thinking out loud here, other people feel free to tell me I'm being dumb.

    If you want to talk to me privately about anything then just send me a PM or add me to messenger.
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