Grrrr.. No!

[Sycotic_Sarah]

No!

I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE, IM ALWAYS THE FUCKING REASON WHY PEOPLE TRY TO KILL THEMSELVES, IM ALWAYS THE REASON WHY OTHERS SHRED TEARS, WHY THEY BLEED, WHY THEY SWOLLOW PILLS, WHY THEY HARM THEMSELVES, IM EVEN THE REASON WHY MY FUCKIN BEST FRIEND KILLED HIMSELF, IM THE DEPRESSION IN THIS DAMNED FAMILY, EVER SINCE I WAS BORN, I FUCKED IT UP, IM A SCREW UP, SO SAY 'BYE PHYSCO SCREW UP' AND ILL GO OFF TO DIE! JUST LIKE IT WAS MEANT TO BE! DEAD SARAH DEAD DEAD DEAD FUCKING DEADDDDD!!!!!!!!!! :cry: :cry:

 

[ybt]

what makes you think you're the problem? i'm incredibly sorry for your losses, but at times it's very easy to assume.

 

[Sycotic_Sarah]

No, I don't assume, I know.

It's my problem because ever since I was born, i've been a burden.

So, time to end the burden.

 

[ace]

No, I don't assume, I know.

It's my problem because ever since I was born, i've been a burden.

So, time to end the burden.

No sarah others have let you down and have done you wrong I know this,they put you through so much and didn't even bother with you and you've been left to fight everything I know you have.And I know the shit constant pain you're in,I feel the same way so you can talk to me always me get treated like outcasts.

 

[I Miss You]

Sweetheart...
This is I miss you.

listen to me hun.i wanted you to know that a lot of people care about you and love you like crazy here.i also happen to care about you and love you too.please stay with me.I will do ANYTHING for you.just talk to me I dont want to lose you.I could never forgive myself if anything bad happened to you

 

[Sycotic_Sarah]

*sigh*

People think I have Bi-polar or some sort of depression, becoming more dangerously suicidal as each day comes.

I apologize in advance if I do anything that will prevent me from coming on here.

 

[kath]

Easier said than done i know but please dont.And also im not a great believer in labels and diagnosises but it may be if they can find the right one for you they can help you better..

 

[gentlelady]

Sarah, you know we are here for you as much as we possibly can be. You are not the reason things have happened as they have. People make their own decision. They themselves are respnsible for their choices, not you.You are not a burden to us, although your mind has you convinced otherwise. It is time for us to whittle away at those bad thoughts and try to replace them with new things. Stay safe Sarah. I care about you. :hug:

 

[Sycotic_Sarah]

Thankyou GL. :hug:

My mind is quite warped... >.<

Kath, I don't think I've anything wrong with me, seriously, I think I am just me, not anything else, just me... but others think otherwise... >.<

I've got this awful vision of me killing myself, each time I go to sleep, I wake up just as I am about to do it, I seriously want to kill myself, and NO, I am NOT attention seeking or any of that bullshit, I am quite frankley, scared.

 

[Forgotten_Man]

I see... well Sarah the only thing you can really do is endure. Endure until you can get away from the family. Get away from this life and start a new one.

 

[Sycotic_Sarah]

no id rather die now than later...

 

[gentlelady]

Sarah, Please continue to hold on. It sounds like you may be afraid of acting on impulse. You need to take safety measures to ensure you are unable to do this. You say you think you are fine, it's only others that think you have something wrong with you. You have talked before about the reason you act the way you do is because you have a mental disorder. I guess I am confused a bit here. None of us want to admit we may need help. I, and many others of us here, wish to offer you support through all of these bad times, but you also have to be willing to work at helping yourself. Without that piece in place, it does not matter what any of us do, things will not change. Believe in yourself Sarah. Believe that you are a good person worthy of the love you have been given by so many. Most importantly, love yourself. So easy to write, so difficult to achieve. I have faith in you Sarah. Have faith in yourself. :hug:

 

[I Miss You]

sweetheart.gentle lady is right.so many people care about you and love you.i happen to be one of those people.dont leave me i dont want to lose you.


i have an idea.why dont you join me in the chat room.i really care about you Sarah.please talk to me i am always here for you. you are not ALONE!!!

 

[Sycotic_Sarah]

cant, im under moderation.

death awaits me.

 

[I Miss You]

please sarah.just talk to me.i really want to help you.i care about you and i dont want to lose you.i am always here for you.like i said befor.you are not ALONE!!!!!

 

[Jodi]

Sarah,

I'm sorry your unable to use the chat room at this time but would you be willing to e-mail someone, if you need to talk....hope you can hang in there....sounds like things are tough.....but also sounds like there's a light at the end of the tunnel....when you leave home.....so lean on us..we are glad you're here and want to help anyway we can......Jodi

 

[gentlelady]

Sarah, you know how to reach many of us outside of the forum. if you need to talk please remember these avenues as well. Please stay safe. We care. :hug:

 

[Forgotten_Man]

I know you would rather die now. I still want to die, and I am working to get better. Look you just need to hold out hope. Granted that hope will not stay with you forever. But hold onto it as long as you can. That is what I am doing, I will admit that I can feel it slowly slipping away but that does not mean it is gone yet.

I know you can hang in there Sarah and become independent and all that jazz. Just hold onto the hope cling to it do everything in your power to hold onto it. And you will survive.

 

[Beret]

Sarah :hug:

just dont forget you are loved by many of us !!!!!!!!!!!

wish you all the best and dont act out of an impulse !!!!!!!!!!!

I miss you lots in chat and hope soon you will be able to come into chat again !!!!!!!!!!

Lots of love, Beret

 

[Sycotic_Sarah]

the care and love from people on here is just... fake.

no one really does care, deep inside you all want me to die.

i found something. something i can use, to die. it feels powerful having that use, and i probably will use it sometime tonight.

it isnt tablets, nor anything like that, just a lousy razor. last time, i managed to hit a vein without any intentions to do so, think of it if i have intentions to hit something, i know i wont fail...

this life has been so fucking shit, and i have ruined my families life by being born, they will all be happy after im gone, same as to everyone on here.

i apologize for everything ive done. i apologize for breathing. for being here. for everything.

goodbye...