Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by MoAnamCara, May 20, 2013.

  1. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Why, when things seemingly are looking up on the outside I still feel this emptiness inside? Am I that ungrateful a person? I feel that way. This blathering fool who just won't shut up. This woe is me bullshit. This knowing that deep down, in my heart and soul, things will never be the same. Knowing that quietly and silently I have my own plans for the future. I'm so tired of my mind, of me, it's just laughable really. Stupidity hits again. Sadness. Hurt. Blah blah blah blah. Same ol song n dance.
  2. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Yay! I get to reply to myself. How good.

    Rough experience today. A different type of physical (type) therapy. I felt so scared. It was very powerful but I was unable to put words to it.

    So, I'll come back tomorrow and reply again. This is why I deleted everyone previously. Its too triggering for no one to be in touch. deja vu.

    It is what it is. right? you get what you give. right? And besides, I deserve nothing different.
  3. Theodora

    Theodora Well-Known Member

    I'm one of the people who read your threads and don't reply. I can only speak for myself not others. I find it hard to understand what is going on other than that you are suffering deeply. I've never posted before as I've always imagined your response would be something along the lines of " Show's how little she understands". I haven't wanted to hurt you further by my lack of understanding.
  4. MoAnamCara

    MoAnamCara SF Artist

    Theodora... Thanks for responding. You aren't hurting me by not knowing stuff, just your response alone helps.
  5. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    I am sorry Mo, I did not see this. You can always talk to me.
    And no, you are not alone feeling that 'I' am bouncing along in a sea of thoughts I cannot control sometimes.
  6. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    So sorry I did not see this Mo...been recovering myself...what kind of PT was it? and it makes perfect sense to feel sad and things to also be different on the outside...we function on so many different levels, many of which we can hold in our minds at the same time...and you are not a fool nor are you wasteful on any level..please remember I care and also text me so I can respond quicker next time