GSA- Gay, Straight, Alliance

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by deathangel101, Jun 7, 2012.

  1. deathangel101

    deathangel101 Well-Known Member

    hey all you guys who are gay, bi, or just plain straight who love hanging with us you can post on here bout your problems or if you need advise on how to handle things if you feel you neeed help.

    i'm bisexual and its easy to ask guys out but its kinda hard for me to ask girls out because i never kno if they are gay or straight..and i just don't wanna look like a fool if i ask a girl out and she turns out to be straight i mean how do you do that if your at the mall or at the club or something
  2. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    well you dont, unless u ask, or possible ask someone that knows them. There is always a risk i would imagine. I did that once, some guy i liked ,thought that he was gay and possible interested, so i asked him out and well it didn't turn out good at all. Turns out i was reading way to much into the situation than what the reality was. I havent asked anyone out since and i dont think i be doing that anytime soon. I hate being gay for that reason...sorry i don't have an answer to your question....i guess u just have to take the risk and hope for the best.
  3. BrinkOfExistence

    BrinkOfExistence Well-Known Member

    Do you not have places dedicted for the LGBT community? for example here in Manchester where i live we have the gay village, which is clubs, bars and restraunts where gay people go to...obviously, apparently it's full of straight people. In fact there's a whole city in Britain which is pretty much dedicated to the LGBT community called Brighton. Looks like a nice place, never been though.
  4. poisonedresistance

    poisonedresistance Well-Known Member

    Hiya there, I totally understand where your coming from. Im Bi myself, have had both g/f's and b/f 's, its much easier to ask people of the opposite sex than it is people of the same sex. My advice would be to try to get to know them, often my experiences with people have been through becomming friends first, you can learn so much by just spending time together x A coffee is an innocent way to break the ice x
  5. Witty_Sarcasm

    Witty_Sarcasm Eccentric writer, general weirdo, heedless heathen

    Get to know them first and then ask...then maybe you can get a better read on them. Of course you won't know for sure unless you ask...I know it's scary, but it will pay off if the girl feels the same way about you. :) At least you are asking people out...I would be too shy to ask anyone out :tongue:
  6. bottleneck

    bottleneck Member

    So I've always had a bit of an indenty crisis when it came to my sexuality. It wasn't something I thought about. Until I got married and had sex with a man and realized I hated it. I thought it was just me. When he and I divorced after 4-years of marriage I met someone new, had sex once...hated it. Still thought it was me. A few years later had another male partner hated it.

    I've always been more physically attracted to women, but it never made me pause to think I wasn't straight. But now, I've been alone for at least 5-years and would like to figure out how to meet a woman to date, etc. But not only am I socially inept, I don't really like myself and can't afford to meet someone as broken as me.

    Is there anyone on here that is socially awkward that knows how to get a date within the gay community? Salt Lake has an awesome gay community...but as with any community, I always feel shut out.
  7. PJLane

    PJLane Well-Known Member

    it can be hard meeting girls, i know for myself i dont 'look gay' so its not like its out there as well. you could try looking on pinksofa, its an international girls dating site which is pretty great - i know in my country we have some dedicated gay clubs for women as well which are amazing :)
  8. pancake111

    pancake111 Well-Known Member

    I would get to know them first. Try to weave being gay into a conversation and see what she says.
  9. deathangel101

    deathangel101 Well-Known Member

    well i know of some grls that r gay jus by looking at them hence the way they tlk act or dress n i jus dnt kno i mean pretty much a lot of ppl are turning gay do to the lack of maturity in the other sex
  10. deathangel101

    deathangel101 Well-Known Member

    soo i have a story i was at this club called voltage and this girl walked up and started dancingn with me she said she was bi and wanted my number so i gave it to her..the next day this guy calls me and says his gf gave him this number and both of them wanted to hang out with me so we all went to dinner a few times and on the 7th time we went out they told me they were looking for a girlfriend to both the guy and girl i didnt kno that couples could turn in to a love triangle where they all go out with each other so i stll haven't given my answer but they are prettyu cool i jus dnt kno if im ready for that TYPE of realtionship so i dnt kno wat to say cuz i really like them both but the idea jus feels awkward
  11. Rita Bonita

    Rita Bonita Member

    The trick is to check the "about" tab on facebook. Most people don't even restrict that info to just people on their friends list. Also, there are plenty of other indicators, and if you chat with someone long enough most of the time they'll tell you what you need to know.
  12. Rita Bonita

    Rita Bonita Member

    I'm not sure what your age is, as you get a lot more access to the queer community once you turn 18, and then especially once you turn 21, but even if you're underage you can still go where the other queer kids your age are. As you have assessed, asking people out in the outside world can go south. If you ask someone out in a gay club and they turn out to be straight, which is rare but happens, there is a guarantee of no fall out.
  13. Rita Bonita

    Rita Bonita Member

    I had similar but different experiences (I am technically a pansexual woman, but am attracted to female features on a male frame such as drags queens and trans ladies). All I can see is check your local listings, or if you live in the kind of place that doesn't list gay events for everyone's comfort level, just hop online and see what you find. I've been infiltrating the queer community where I live for the past 11 months and it's gone great, though I can tell you for a fact that there are a lot of places with lousy queer communities, too.

    Basically, no matter where you wind up, don't assume that that represents the whole thing. There are kind of two facets of the queer community- you have the people who take all of the pain that has been heaped upon them by kicking whoever they see as the next person down from them to make themselves feel better, and then you have the people who cope with all of the pain that has been heaped upon them by banding together and supporting one another- find the latter, they are who you need, right now.

    I think your best bet is (even if you're not into that kind of thing) if you can find some sort of queer open mic thing. People are generally sharing personal things in a supportive environment at those things. It will get you up to speed on voices you may not have been exposed to out in the straight world, it will put you in an environment that is likely to be supportive, and it will also give you an opening to hop up on stage and introduce yourself and be supported. Just know your story is a common one and there are plenty of people who would like to support you- just go find them!

    Best wishes.

  14. Rita Bonita

    Rita Bonita Member

    yeah, that comes up. Basically, the term for that is called "asking you to be their third", although that usually refers to just a straight up sexual situation. If it's a real relationship, then you refer to it as "dating a couple". This was over a month ago- has something panned out or do you still need advice?
  15. deathangel101

    deathangel101 Well-Known Member

    well i just left it alone i realized it wasnt for me so i didnt bother with it i jus stepped back