Guess I messed up

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Heidia37, Nov 16, 2014.

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  1. Heidia37

    Heidia37 Member

    Called the crisis line the other day but I think I just caused more problems for myself. Now my Drs are concerned about my safety once my kids go to their fathers house on the 21st. I have an appointment on Tuesday with the therapist and she is taking some of my medicine away that I no longer take to get rid of temptation. She also stated on Thursday that we need to consider the option of hospitalization. If I actually have a choice than I will say no. I don't want to go to the VA hospital psyche ward. I am just not quite sure what to do at this point. Any ideas?
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Please remain calm and rationale. If you remain calm and,talk to your doctor, he/she might reconsider her thoughts. We need to get you the next couple of days as you are a DESERVING PERSON who needs our support and care. You are important. Please do not fret now. We are here for you the next four days and we will try to get you through this tough time. I know it's easy to say but relax and focus on deep breathing. If you are on your own can you go for a walk or a cafe surrounded by people. We are here for you. PM if you want to talk in private otherwise keep posting for care and support.
  3. Heidia37

    Heidia37 Member

    Thank you I am just starting to think talking was a huge mistake. I don't want to lose my freedom and I can't handle being confined the hospital would be a very bad place for me. When I do sleep I have to have the lights on I am terrified of the dark and in a hospital they make you shut off the lights. No I can't do that I would freak out. I get that they are concerned about my safety but in a hospital I would be concerned about my safety. If that makes sense. Yep I can't go.
  4. K8E

    K8E Well-Known Member

    If you can make them a real and convincing promise that you won't hurt yourself and emphasise that for you hospital is a place full of triggers and stressors they might agree to being supported at home. It also helps if you can give them a plan of activity for the time period. Just general stuff like people to see, a film to go to, a home project, even shopping and cooking yourself something. My team even consider my plans to watch a particular TV programme at a certain time as planning and occupation! Is there someone who could go to the therapist appointment with you for support and to show that you are not completely isolated?
    Take care
  5. Chloeinoz

    Chloeinoz Banned Member

    I messed up too, I had a plan for last tues and my mistake was contacting an online help line and giving mobile no within 30 mins they had tracked my address my husbands ovule no and the police and an ambulance turned up at my house. I managed to convince them I was ok. My husband took my car keys away but I found the spare set I drove and sat in my car for a couple of hours just thinking everything through. Seeing how upset my kids were when the police turned up really opened my mind anyway instead of following through on my plan I took 20 sedatives and ended up in emergency over night my suicidal thoughts have been extreme so I've decided to go into hospital to try and get some help I hope you are ok and can get through this
  6. Donnanobispacem

    Donnanobispacem Well-Known Member

    It's a problem finding a balance between getting help and relying on someone else's judgment- and feeling like you lost control of making your own decisions. Accept that you won't feel great about that. If you share your concern about being in the dark there may be an easy solution to that.

    Hope you feel better soon.
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