guided by the voices

the voices... they won't stop talking to me tonight

they are telling me tonight is the last night and they are telling me there is no escape.

i know i don't usually say this, but i'm actually scared i'm actually going to give in and do something really bad that there will be no turning back from

please make the voices stop... please.

they are all i can hear and i can't consontrate on anything

 

I occasionally have voices, I don't know if it'll work for you but when it gets bad I put my headphones in, put on some really fast and heavy screamo, something with really loud guitar and double base and all sorts. then I sit down with a piece of paper and a pencil and I draw. I draw actual pictures, I draw little stick figures, I scribble, when it's so bad I can barely think I just draw a simple spiral. I draw it to fill the page, going round and round until all I'm thinking about is making the next part of the spiral fit as close as possible to the last without touching. sounds daft but with all my other issues getting in the way the task of just drawing a spiral as near to perfect as I can get it is simple enough to not need complex thought but hard enough to drown out the voices. ionno if that'll help you but either way I hope you down them out and stay safe

 

thanks- i'll try that

at times like this, i tend to get angry at myself- start calling myself a loser, an idiot, that kind of thing

it's so hard tonight... but i'm really trying

 

it's okay, it's not your fault that you hear things, you're not a loser for not being perfect. if you get rained on, it's not because there's something wrong with you, it's because of changes in air pressure in the sky above you. we have no more control over mental illness than we do over the weather. but just like the rain, the voices will go away.

hold on till then, you can do it. :hug:

 

thanks for the vote of confidence.

it really means a lot

and yes.. i've quite often thought of the weather sinario. i find that to be very real