Guilt tripping

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by K8E, Jul 16, 2014.

  1. K8E

    K8E Well-Known Member

    Long story short my parents are useless with money, had a lot, spent a lot, lots of debt even in their 70s. They have never learnt and over the years they have had money from both me and my sister for all sorts of things. They are also frequently getting involved in court cases, suing Drs, disputing planning, neighbour disagreements, misselling of mortgages. It just goes on and on. They haven't won one case by the way.
    I am tapped out financially, going through an expensive divorce, increase in costs because I left the marital home, supporting my son financially, but so far this week they have asked me for £450. £200 for a car repair and £250 down payment on another spurious accusation of medical negligence. My Dad has quite advanced cancer and my Mum is becoming more and more frail. They've never been supportive of me, preferring my sister and even invited the man who was convicted of abusing me to stay with them after the case had ended. If I say that I'm not well they always act like its a big surprise!
    I feel like shit when I say I can't afford it, especially as I'm going on holiday on Friday. My psychiatrist has suggested minimising contact which I've done but they still ask and I still feel guilty. I'd been feeling so much better but tonight's phone call has made me feel like crap again and some of my dark thoughts came back just to get away from them.......
     
  2. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Wow. Youre a saint for putting up with this hogwash business your parents did so long and being so giving. Not many would stick around their family if they went through betrayal of letting ones abuser back in their lives discarding the feelings and safety of everyone else.

    Speaks alot volumes of your character. Its okay to say no you cant simply do it anymore. You got to support yourself first and your kid. You got your life to live. Your parents made their own choices and theres always programs for the eldery to fall back on. They will make do with what they got.
     
  3. K8E

    K8E Well-Known Member

    Thank you. Unfortunately what it tells me about my character is that I'm a mug and a pushover. But I have said no this time. So that's progress even if I feel like a selfish cow.
     
  4. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    So sorry to hear you are in a dark place. Guilt tripping is a form of manipulation and a horrible way to control people. It's not nice. You should not worry and be stress free for your holiday. Take care and enjoy your holiday.
     
  5. K8E

    K8E Well-Known Member

    Thank you. I hope that you also find some peace. If I was with you I'd be sharing the tissues and making tea......
     
  6. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    KBE, your welcome. Take care and no tears now on your holiday.
     
  7. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    As said already, you are an absolute saint for putting up with this. Unsure of what to say or suggest considering they are very close to you of course. Don't allow them to take advantage though....if I were you, I'd give them money if I had it as long as it was used wisely, but not for the nonsense that they are doing. I do hope you can enjoy your holiday and relax :hug: