Blah. I am visiting my mother most weekends, despite the fact that she abused me all of my life... but it's so very triggering for me to go there, being alone with her, us getting into the smallest arguments... and then there's the fact that the school where I was severely bullied and sexually abused as well is almost next to her house. This weekend we were also supposed to visit my mother's aunt (the closest I have to a grandmother) but I knew after what happened last weekend that it wouldn't be healthy for me to go there. So I told my mother I was very tired and felt unwell so I was staying home this weekend... First she tried to convince me that mum's aunt wanted to see me... Now mum just took a picture of her dog, who I love so much... he has that sad expression and she's writing how much he misses me, and he's wondering where I am... Why can't she just leave me alone? Why is it so bad that I need a break for once? BLAH.