Guilt.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by MildCat, Apr 23, 2015.

  1. MildCat

    MildCat Member

    I can't help but feel guilty. My mom's condition gets worse and worse every day and I can't bring myself to visit her. It's been years and I can't do it. It hurts far too much to see her like that. I hate myself for being selfish. I love her so much, and I know she loves me too... So why can't I do it? If I can ever get up enough courage to see her and tell her how much I care about her, I wonder if she could ever forgive me. I know I won't be able to.
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi mildcat,

    what is your mom's condition? I get the feeling guilty part but try and make amends while you still can. I can't imagine my mom having a condition that gets worse but its my worst fear :(
     
  3. MildCat

    MildCat Member

    She has Huntington's Disease. And every time I see her, it is a brutal reminder that life isn't fair. That it doesn't matter how hard you work, or how strong you are, or how good of a person you are, you can still be given a death sentence like Huntington's. And then I wonder if I have it too, or my brother, or his son/my nephew and it just.... Hurts my soul down to the core.
     
  4. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I wasn't sure what that was so I just googled it, I am really sorry. It sounds so hard to deal with. I think you should go and see her, I do not know how it's affecting her, would she be aware that you were there?
     
  5. MildCat

    MildCat Member

    Last time I saw her, she was very responsive and self-reliant. She's always been extemely capable and strong willed, even with Huntington's. But I don't know about now. I want to bring her something to show her that she's never left my mind, even if I didn't show it, but I don't even know where to start...
     
  6. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Think you should go for it, bring her something and let her know she never left your thoughts, start slowly, get yourself around the idea, :hug:
     
  7. MildCat

    MildCat Member

    Thanks for the encouragement... I really needed it. I think I'll see her next weekend
     
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    no worries, hope it won't be as bad as you think it will be :)
     
  9. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I'm so sorry to hear that you are suffering but please remain strong. Life is hard but we have can help you. You know that we can support you. So please keep here for moral support.
     
  10. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Do see her, if only to avoid a life time of regret and even more guilt.