I feel guilty for being alive I feel guilty for not being dead after my past couple of suicide attempts I feel guilty for putting my family through my pain I feel guilty for passing up limited opportunities early in my life thinking I knew better I feel guilty for being a total screw up in school and burning out I feel guilty for every mistake I have ever made I feel guilty for not being an active member of society because of chronic depression and anxiety I feel guilty that I come from a good home but don't deserve to be part of it as I can't return the favour and make my family proud of me I feel guilty to want to commit suicide when so many people talk about how lucky they are to be alive I feel guilty that I live in my mind, doing nothing, going nowhere I feel guilty of being afraid of living but afraid of dying Who the hell am I? What am I doing here? Why am I in this body and this person? Why can't I be someone else even for a day? I hate myself so much it's hard to keep going and looking to the next day. I ’m afraid to live and feel so alone, when I look around everywhere I go, everyone seems to be happy, enjoying and embracing life, I wonder if I ever will get to feel like that, even for an hour.