guilt

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by tired82, Mar 17, 2009.

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  1. tired82

    tired82 Well-Known Member

    Had an angry arguement with my mom yesterday. I've never explained fully my depression to her, much less suicidal thoughts. But she started with the "this is what you have to do" speech.

    Though the speech made me angry, I tried to tell her (probably not very well) how I'm feeling and where I am. Yet she still tried to tell me how to get "better". At one point she asked me what I want to do with my life, because I am not getting any younger. I responded that you can't "scare" me into getting better any more than telling me to snap out of it.

    After she left, I felt really guilty about it because she's only trying to help afterall. There's guilt about alienating someone who cares about you and trying to help. There's only so much family and friends can do for us, since it's really up to us to fix ourselves.

    I could only justify my anger yesterday as ground work for the day I choose to leave - it may help lessen the pain when she reflect back on how mean I was.
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    We do not stop loving someone because s/he makes us angry, nor do we commit a mortal blow when we make another angry...your mother cares about you and was trying her best to help...if she fell short, that is considerably more frequent...not sure how old you are, but do know that if you cannot talk to your friends and family, it may be worth talking to a professional who may be able to help and guide you...yes, of course it is up to us to work out our problems, but it is with the love and kindness of others that the task becomes achievable... best of luck and big hugs, J
     
  3. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    An important factor in all this, is that you realize that your mother is trying to help you out. Things like this won't stop her caring for you any less.
     
  4. Son, I found this on the computer and all I have to say is I was happier before you were born but I am happy that you were born and part of my life.
     
  5. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Hey Tired 82,
    Your mom loves you plain and simple.. Talk to her in a calm manner. Explain everything that is going thru your head. If you can't then write it down and let her read it. You seriously should at least see a therapist to help you learn to cope. I've been seeing mine for three years and can see the progress I have made..Take care!!!
     
  6. tired82

    tired82 Well-Known Member

    I hear what all of you are saying, and it's pretty much what my psychiatrist said about the incident.

    Part of me just want to avoid & alienate her and everyone else so that I wouldn't have that burden on my mind.
     
  7. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Perhaps instead of alienating her, just have some time to yourself to let your emotions and thoughts settle and this will also allow yourself time to think.
     
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