The worst part about this is that this happened after an argument. He left me knowing I would have guilt. Under bad terms. We were always together. Always in love. Does anyone understand. This happened after a fight. He stormed out our door. This is very bad for me and I need help so bad. The pain is so bad. I looked for him. He didn't pick up the phone. I called his cell 133 times. This guilt is a nightmare. After an argument. It was such a bad month before he died. We were both stressed. It didn't mean I did not love him. I wish he was here right now. We would be watching tv together. My love. Only 44 years old.