I attempted suicide about two years ago, and I still feel terrible about it. I just did something really stupid. I think that part of the reason I did it was because I wanted somebody who was being mean to see how much he had hurt me and feel sorry. That was the wrong way to express my feelings! I also get flashbacks of being in the ER--the nures and the social worker were kind of mean. my first therapist was also kind of mean--even though i switched and my second one was nicer. i just get imagine those people looking at me and thinking "loser". sometimes i feel like i deserved to be treated like shit, and other times i'm kind of angry. it's been 2 yrs. that's the weird part. how long is normal for feeling guilty after a suicide attempt? I really feel so selfish and manipulative for doing what I did, and my actions really had a negative impact on my self-esteem. I just feel like I don't deserve to let go.