guilt

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sadbecky

#1
I attempted suicide about two years ago, and I still feel terrible about it. I just did something really stupid. I think that part of the reason I did it was because I wanted somebody who was being mean to see how much he had hurt me and feel sorry. That was the wrong way to express my feelings!

I also get flashbacks of being in the ER--the nures and the social worker were kind of mean. my first therapist was also kind of mean--even though i switched and my second one was nicer. i just get imagine those people looking at me and thinking "loser". sometimes i feel like i deserved to be treated like shit, and other times i'm kind of angry.

it's been 2 yrs. that's the weird part. how long is normal for feeling guilty after a suicide attempt? I really feel so selfish and manipulative for doing what I did, and my actions really had a negative impact on my self-esteem. I just feel like I don't deserve to let go.
 
#2
There is never a set time for how we feel. For some guilt may be shotlived while others it lasts a very long time. Are you still seeing a therapist? If so, have you spoken about these feelings? I am sorry your experience in the ER was a traumatic event for you. Flashbacks are never an easy thing to deal with, but there are some techniques that can help you. If you would like to talk to someone you can PM me. I will get back with you as soon as I can. Please take care.
 

Erika

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#3
I've tried to commit suicide but ive never felt guilty. Not really. In some ways i elt crazy, how could i have ever tried to kill ME?
 
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