I've spent the past two days reading and reading about suicide stories and people who are struggling with depression and other psychological diseases. I feel like it's all my fault. I am the one who has developed severe depression. I am the one who is making my siblings and family suffer with me through my depression. Even though everyone tells me it's not your fault for feeling the way that I feel, but I still feel so horrible, negative, and guilty. Some people have been raped, abused by loved ones, been through tragic accidents, and some don't even have a home. Yes, I've been through some slaps and punches from my parents when I was a child. And I've had my fair share of bullying, but it's nothing compared to what others have suffered through. I have a family and although they don't understand what I'm going through, I have their support. I don't have to deal with the stress of college, I don't have anything to be worried about.I still want to die even though nothing is really wrong with my life. I feel like depression isn't a good enough reason to stop living your life to the fullest. But I physically and mentally can not live my life. I sit at home all day and watch tv. I feel bad for myself. I feel pathetic. I even dropped out of college because of my depression. I blame myself for my own misery. Did I do this to myself? With all the drugs I experimented with? I've always had depression since I was young but did I worsen my depression by smoking weed? By the pills I took or snorted to get high? Doctors, teachers, and parents warn you all the time about the harm drugs can do. I ignored them. I've never done coke or crack or those hard drugs, but I can't stop blaming myself. I can't stop thinking about what went wrong? What did I do?