Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by mes1234, Apr 7, 2013.

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  1. mes1234

    mes1234 Member

    I've spent the past two days reading and reading about suicide stories and people who are struggling with depression and other psychological diseases. I feel like it's all my fault. I am the one who has developed severe depression. I am the one who is making my siblings and family suffer with me through my depression. Even though everyone tells me it's not your fault for feeling the way that I feel, but I still feel so horrible, negative, and guilty. Some people have been raped, abused by loved ones, been through tragic accidents, and some don't even have a home. Yes, I've been through some slaps and punches from my parents when I was a child. And I've had my fair share of bullying, but it's nothing compared to what others have suffered through. I have a family and although they don't understand what I'm going through, I have their support. I don't have to deal with the stress of college, I don't have anything to be worried about.I still want to die even though nothing is really wrong with my life. I feel like depression isn't a good enough reason to stop living your life to the fullest. But I physically and mentally can not live my life. I sit at home all day and watch tv. I feel bad for myself. I feel pathetic. I even dropped out of college because of my depression. I blame myself for my own misery.

    Did I do this to myself? With all the drugs I experimented with? I've always had depression since I was young but did I worsen my depression by smoking weed? By the pills I took or snorted to get high? Doctors, teachers, and parents warn you all the time about the harm drugs can do. I ignored them. I've never done coke or crack or those hard drugs, but I can't stop blaming myself. I can't stop thinking about what went wrong? What did I do?
  2. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    You haven't brought it in on yourself believe me, you've had it since a child and end of day scientifically it's a chemical imbalance in your brain (according to my docs who googled it go figure) so is that your fault. The answer is no.
  3. HelgasAngel

    HelgasAngel Well-Known Member

    Never compare what you're going through with what others are going through with the intent of minimizing the severity of your issues. Your problems affect YOU and YOU alone, and only YOU can face them. Your issues are no less important than anybody else's. We all have different problems we must deal with, but pain is pain. And we all feel it. People who you believe to have "worse problems" or are "worse off" than you are won't care that your problems are "not that bad," compared to theirs. They will only care that you are there for them, that you are willing to listen, and maybe even love. So focus on that. Focus on relating to people instead of negatively relating your problems with theirs.
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