Guy issues.


Well-Known Member
I really need advice on something. I like this person, but I don't know or think that they like me in return. They used to go to my college and we never really spoke back then but a few months ago I noticed them on facebook and added them and things went from there. At it stands, we talk here and there.. probably about once a week and only for about fifteen minutes at a time. He has huge delays in his replies and never starts the conversation, sometimes even ending the conversation randomly by just not replying anymore.

So because of all that I get the distinct impression that he doesn't really care about my existence or notice me that much. I saw him face to face a week ago at a friends gathering and we exchanged a few words and he high fived me goodbye, but that's the extent of our face to face contact thus far.

I know it sounds like he is not at all interested in me, but I keep reading people say things about never giving up too easily and I'm fairly certain that most of the doubts I have about his dislike for me may be in my head since I always tend to think the worst.

I don't want to do what I always do when I like somebody -- shrug and walk away because of my severe low self-esteem, but at the same time I don't want to make a complete idiot out of myself. So what do I do? He is such a hard person to communicate with, online at least, and it's not like I ever really see him face to face that often (if at all really).

My friend advised me to just keep talking to them until it gets to the point that we can be considered 'friends' and then think about approaching the subject of meeting up or something, but it's hard enough to keep him talking for longer than fifteen minutes as it is.

I know it sounds like I should give up but that's what I always do and I really don't want to this time. I'm tired of letting things happen to me all of the time, I want to take control.

TL;DR: I like this guy but he doesn't really take any notice of me and idk what to do.

total eclipse

SF Friend
Staff Alumni
You take it slow you talk you continue to reach out to him Maybe invite him out for a coffee or something Maybe get your friends to talk to him see if he is interested if not then you stop waisting time okay and look else where. For now be friends and enjoy his friendship


Well-Known Member
The problem with the coffee idea is that people our age don't really do that. >.< He's 19 and I'm 20. I've considered asking him out for a 'drink' since he drinks socially but he goes out drinking with his friends pretty much all the time and it'd no doubt bore him to death even if he did go with me. D:

We have a few friends in common, one that is really close to him, but they're the type of group that don't take things too seriously. The friend would just be like, "just tell him stop being a girl about it" and then shrug it off.

I want to take it slow and get there eventually but he's leaving for uni in September so there are only really three months til he leaves the area for the foreseeable future.

I don't mean to reject all your advice; it's very good advice and I know I need to take it slow and then approach meeting later on, it just feels so complicated!! Thank you though! :smile:
(Btw: I'm also 20 years old and I go out for coffee ;) )

Is the uni he's going on far away from your home?

All in all, you have a dicision to make:
1. tell him about your feelings
2. run away from all this
3. give it some time and watch how it's developing.

I would tend to point three according to your infos (not seen very often in the past months, his non-reaction etc.).

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