Had Enough Now

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Butterfly, Jul 21, 2011.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Really can't take this shit anymore. Suicidal for nearly two weeks with a plan in mind. No motivation. Anxiety through the roof. Uni work spiralling out of control. Today I finally motivate myself enough to do my assignment due in for Monday. I really have no motivation and it has been a struggle all day but I have managed 500 words. I was feeling pretty pleased with my progress for saying how hard it has been. Parents get home. Make out its been an issue that I have been doing my assignment all day just because there is fucking cat litter on the floor. Im lazy apparently noq. My fiance especially cleaned up for me today as he knew I was busy and they still make an issue. And now because I am upset and deflated I have been called a moody cow and having an attitude. I am fucking 20 for fucksake not 12!!!!! I feel like I shouldnt have bothered with my assignment. Like they would rather me fail and do fucking housework all day. It is so small and pointless but I am so pissed off and upset. I feel like it is the icing on the cake for me. Like my efforts at doing things mean nothing. I want out now. I have had enough. In the morning I will be gone.
  2. You reminded me of my parents and how they have treated me. why don't you find a place and move away from your parents? Don't give up on yourself. :hug:
  3. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Can't you move in with your boyfriend?Your right you are too old to be treated as a child..You need to get out of that environment.. I think you will find things better once your out and independant..
  4. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    University is hard especially when it seems assignments are coming faster than you can do them. But it is worth it. Stick at it, gnore your parents and their short-sightedness - did they go to Uni? Can you remind them what it was like?

    You are not a lazy cow you are depressed and using all your energy for the assignments, which is right.
  5. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Me and fiance are in lomg distance relationships at different unis. My parenrs never went to uni I am the first in the family. I cannot afford to move out as I get no funding as I am a student nurse in my degree year. I am fed up. Not just because of this. Because of everything. I have had enough now.
  6. Hoasis

    Hoasis Well-Known Member

    You can make it butterfly! Some days are tougher than others, this is one of the toughest for you. I am sitting here lonely, crying by myself, 28 years old, noone to talk to..but I'll hang in there a few more days, lets do that together:)
  7. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    They need to understand that any Uni course is hard, it is not 9 to 5. Most work is done after hours. Can you sit and just tell them, or show them?

    Long distance is hard. Lots of stress in your life, but you can overcome.
  8. MissMisery

    MissMisery Well-Known Member

    Oh wow! this sounds like my dad, i have been really low and suffer with motivation a lot too. I only got back from hospital after an od last week, and managed to make some positive changes, but its never good enough, any little thing he will find fault and make a massive mountain out of a mole hill. The pettiest of things set him off and i cant stand it, i just want some peace! and i hate being treat like a kid too and the whole 'attitude problem' comments like im sum lame adolescent! argh!

    I just had a bad row tonight all over money as per usual and the fact tht im having a bad time with my bulimia, but point is, i used to spend more before, thts how i got into debt and thts how im now relying on my so called dad to bail me out and its still not enough. Hes useless and pathetic, as is the situation im in, but hang in there and dont give up. I knw its so easy to think right im going, thats it the end but its not the answer, be strng and dont react as much as possible and stay cool calm etc, it will shit all over their little parade of patronization!
  9. Butterfly

    Butterfly Sim Addict Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    Windlepoons, my course is 9-3 nearly every day of the week. I get really intense assignments and work placements where I have to keep a portfolio on top. It is a stressful course but worthwhilw. I do love it. It is just the fact I am so down and have no motivation and they just knocked my confidence.

    MissMisery, my parents arent bad people. Thwy are very good and supportive it is just tonight in my crap state of mind it sort of escalated a little. I have had a little time to calm down and my fiance gave me a big hug and a pep talk and I feel slightly better. But I have a plan to off myself and I am going to go through with it tomorrow because I cant take the intense and graphic suicidal thoughts anymore and the constwnt sadness and anxiety. I just cant do it.
  10. Aaron

    Aaron Well-Known Member

    You can and you will.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.