Had enough

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by becky82, Apr 23, 2007.

  1. becky82

    becky82 Well-Known Member

    I can't do this anymore I can't carry on. I've had enough off people treating me like shit. The more i do for some people, the more i do at work the worse i get treated. I dont know what to do i dont know how to get through this. Im so tired of trying to cope. Why is it that people can't accept me for who i am. Its hard enough trying to deal with the past without adding more to it. I want to give up, i want to curl up in a ball away from everyone and sleep untill all the pain goes away, I dont want to hurt anymore. Im sorry for venting to you guys but i dont know where to turn to.
  2. Syd

    Syd Guest

    I understand what you're saying, because I've experienced a lot of this myself. I'm overly sensitive and enjoy helping people, while the more aggressive and dominant people like to abuse and exploit my empathetic nature. This is one of the main reasons I'm secluded and unsocial these days.

    However, some people respond well to my personality type. It's just harder to find the right friends. You'll need to find the strength to distance yourself from those who are abusing you, and find genuine friends who you can trust, who truly care about you. You may want to look for a new job if the environment there is causing you more harm than good. Do what feels right.
  3. becky82

    becky82 Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the reply. I'm so scared at the moment, i just dont think i can hang on any longer death just seems so much easier. I cant change jobs at the moment it just seems so pointless going somewhere new when im not even sure i want to live anymore and i cant guarentee anywhere being any better. I find it so hard to make friends because i cant trust people and the few times someone has got close to me ive pushed them away because i get scared that im going to get hurt and id rather do something before that happens. I'm just a stupid waste of space and noone would even notice if i was dead.
  4. Syd

    Syd Guest

    I understand what you mean all too well. I was suicidal when I was younger. (16) TBH, I have no friends right now either, and I'm also poor at the moment, plus I have major problems with paranoia. I have a completely bizarre lifestyle as well. I'm lucky to have a great family, my sister is the polar opposite of me (completely social) ..though I was much more social as a teenager, my behavior changed a lot into my 20s. I would like to make some real friends, I just don't feel motivated to do so anymore, usually. The main difference between myself and others on this board is that I'm not suicidal, in fact I seem to enjoy being an outcast for some reason.. That doesn't mean I think it's healthy and good though, it's just how I am right now.

    I don't know what to tell you about the job situation. I'm currently doing freelance writing - which is a ton of work and pays poorly.. but usually doesn't involve much social interaction. I do it because I enjoy art and literature, which means a lot more to me than money ever would, of course. Life isn't easy, there's not much I (or anyone else) can do except continue to face the challenges! I will admit that I think life can be a lot easier with friends and close relationships, and so I can only suggest that you find some people with similar interests, perhaps join a group, and replace bad friends/ memories with good ones, slowly but surely. This seems impossible when we can't trust others, but it will happen on its own when you're ready. That's what I believe.

    I think you could use a break. Try taking some time to relax, such as taking a long bath or just having a delicious meal and resting for awhile, clear your mind or all thoughts or listen to some soothing music. Actually, I should do this myself. OR since it's spring time now, maybe find a nice park or lakeside area to spend in the sun. Maybe that will help a little, I can't guarantee, but it's worth a try. If bad thoughts return again, try to think of something you love or enjoy, to counter the negative tension.
  5. Robin

    Robin Guest

    I'm glad you have somewhere you can post these feelings, I'm afraid I'm not very good at advice but I liked Syd's post alot, it definitely helps to have something you enjoy doing, keeps your mind off of the bad things that churn our minds upside down and if other people enjoy doing it allows us the chance to meet people who like the same thing we do.