I don't think I want revenge, I just want justice. I am only willing to tolerate these medications because they broke me down to a certain level of tolerance. I was reduced, and refitted for the picture. My life is nothing but pure misery and constant confusion, pain, sleep paralysis, anxiety, ptsd, all fall into the picture from the four or five hospitalizations that I can't forget anymore. Why wouldn't I be suicidal? They drove me to it. I was hospitalized when I was 17 against my will. I was young, happy, free, and seeing things no one could understand. When I said my dad was sexist, he carried me across the room and threw me onto the floor and screamed at me. Do you know how that feels? NO. You don't know how I feel. The doctor I had ignored me, he said it was ALL schizophrenia. Nothing else, but I could treat depression if I just happened to feel like it or take Ambien or Seroquel. Just give me the whole god damn pharmaceutical company! I was kept awake in the hospital originally for 9 weeks straight, and I wouldn't have lost my mind at least some bit? I won't go into ne more details...because this shit is over.