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Had Enough......

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Matt1987, Sep 23, 2009.

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  1. Matt1987

    Matt1987 Guest

    I took an overdose the other week, ultimately failed obviously, when I thought I was 'dying' it was without the best moment of my life, a way out, I'm 22. I've been treated like shit the majority of my life, used, any friendships I have, I seem to fuck them up. I've never been happy, not at one point can I remember a point of prolonged happiness or even being stable. I suffer from extreme paranoia, voices in my head, I'm constantly nervous, uncomfortable with everyone including close family, I can't look anyone in the eye. I constantly suspect people of having hidden motives and of course constant suicidal thoughts. I'm currently on anti-depressants which help a little but they make me feel shit. I don't have a job and I've been sitting in the same clothes for about 2 weeks. I want to die but couldn't do it to my family, if it wasn't for them I would of by now. I see no way out I'm socially retarded and mentally fucked up. I've almost been looking for ways to die that wouldn't necessarily be documented as suicide. Thanks for your time if any anyone's read this, don't know why I'm here tbh.
  2. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Hi. I'm glad you posted here. Many of us here have experienced the feelings you describe. You've come to the right place. Please keep coming back, you'll find understanding here and that will be of help to you. Some days will be bad, some will be ok, maybe even some good days. You will see that in us in our posts. It helps to know we are not alone.
  3. I think telling your doctor your meds need to be increased or changed if they are not working. Your depression still is not under control I hope coming here and talking helps i knowit helps me Keep talking to us okay
  4. Young suicider

    Young suicider Well-Known Member

    Did you here about that new suicidal pill.Its suppose to calm you down and all,but there's a kink. WARNING:If you are suicidal pls do not take this pill,Overdossing can be deadly

    No joke
  5. jacknife

    jacknife Guest

    Well, buckle up man--you're in for a long ride.

    I've suffered from the aforementioned problems for many years, plus other personal problems which are even more unpleasant. Medications never did much for me, and life is still torturous to this day. Yet I continue, because I've learned to accept and even love the pain. There are only two choices for me: pain or death. I've chosen pain, but I do it for myself and myself only. It's personal--but my path is not for everyone. Allow yourself more time to reflect if necessary, but don't allow others to impose their will upon you. You're not a slave. You're a free human being, and you have the right to your own fate.
  6. Matt1987

    Matt1987 Guest

    Cheers for the replies people. Another really bad day today, seriously just want to die, like most days. I'm getting irrational violent thoughts again, such as kill to my family, honestly I'm a fuck up. I'm really not destined for anything.
  7. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I really hope you join this site. I've found that it's a good place to make new friends. It might be easier for you to deal with everything if you had people you could talk to, people that care about what happens to you.
  8. WldHair

    WldHair Well-Known Member

    Please hang in there. I have the same problems socially, that no one likes me and when I try to make friends people treat me like "who the fuck is she." I've made a few friends at work, but it still doesn't make the feeling go away. You're not fucked up, some of us are just different. I've also learned to embrace my pain to some extent. I would also keep talking to your doctor because one thing about pills, you just have to find the right ones or combinations. If you get any irrational thoughts such as doing harm to yourself or your family, teach yourself to work through it. When I used to get them, I would go tell myself that it wasn't me, it was my illness. I heard voices too, but I learned to listen to the right voices. A few of my spirit guides came through and I began to speak to them. They were better than any therapist I ever had. (I guess voices can be good for some things). Whenever I was in pain or would get irrational, they would talk me down and help me calm. Eventually they drowned out the voices that were telling me to do things until I could ignore them. On some level, I saw my illness as a Rite of Passage spiritually. To be able to work through the worst pain imaginable. I've lived with this for years, so I've had plenty of time to reflect.

    Big hugs for you, you're not fucked up.
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