I took an overdose the other week, ultimately failed obviously, when I thought I was 'dying' it was without the best moment of my life, a way out, I'm 22. I've been treated like shit the majority of my life, used, any friendships I have, I seem to fuck them up. I've never been happy, not at one point can I remember a point of prolonged happiness or even being stable. I suffer from extreme paranoia, voices in my head, I'm constantly nervous, uncomfortable with everyone including close family, I can't look anyone in the eye. I constantly suspect people of having hidden motives and of course constant suicidal thoughts. I'm currently on anti-depressants which help a little but they make me feel shit. I don't have a job and I've been sitting in the same clothes for about 2 weeks. I want to die but couldn't do it to my family, if it wasn't for them I would of by now. I see no way out I'm socially retarded and mentally fucked up. I've almost been looking for ways to die that wouldn't necessarily be documented as suicide. Thanks for your time if any anyone's read this, don't know why I'm here tbh.