Had enough

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by William52, May 20, 2010.

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  1. William52

    William52 New Member

    Hi there all, I am glad that I found this forum, as all other ones I found were American orientated.

    Anyway, let me tell you about me:

    I am feeling suicidal, maybe I should amend this to I am going to kill myself, I just haven't decided on the method yet. I am unemployed (can't even get vountry work now), I don't smoke or drink because I can't afford to, I never go out (and I mean never) as I can't afford to. I have a 26 year old son living at home with his mother and me. He is an alcoholic. Every day its get out of bed, sit about, have tea, watch some telly then back to bed. This is 24/7 every day of the year.

    I have massive debts, and when I look at the scum of this country (Thieves etc) all having a good life. I have desided no more, I just cannot take any more! I came to this descision some time ago, but at least then I was smoking an that helped a bit. Now I can't even afford that little luxury.

    dear God! Oh how i would love to be in the normal position of being told off for doing, or saying something wrong in these forums. But unfortunately this is seriousely bad. It feels as though I am in a vacuum. I can hear but not listen, See but not comprehend. A bit of a coward though, as I was thinking of going out and starting a fight so forcing someone else to do it for me.

    Will
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 20, 2010
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I'm sorry you're dealing with so much. Does anyone know how you're feeling, like a family member or anyone close to you?

    Please keep talking here!!
     
  3. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    :sad: :hugtackles: I agree about the whole scum bags living good lives :dry:

    And i can see you are going through alot :( but please...do NOT kill yourself...what about your wife and son?? how do you think they would take it?

    If you cant live for you, live for them.. the only thing keeping me alive is knowing how badly it would hurt a select few...

    Live for them...

    My PM box is open if you need to talk :hugtackles:
     
  4. William52

    William52 New Member

    I am 58 years of age, so you could say I've had plenty of time to reflect on the shit of life. I have always been the one family come to for advice, always the one who would lend a hand, no questions asked. Now I feel totally empty. I have had these feelings before over the years, but they soon passed. This time it fels very different, as I said before its like being in a vacuum, heavy, emotional and unable to make reson of anything. I don't even think I believe in God!
     
  5. absolution

    absolution Forum Buddy

    You said that your always the one that they go to for help... well now its your turn to ask for help hun.. they are your family...im sure they want to help you... :hug:

    here if you need anything..
     
  6. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I can hear how desperate you feel....but please don't kill yourself...
    it will destroy your family.......how will they cope if you are gone?...
    Have you seen a doctor, therapist?
    I hope you'll keep talking on here ....we understand..
     
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