Had Enough

[clairedelune]

I've just had enough. I've been here for over 18 years yet all these are turning pointless. I even don't know what the problem is. I just find myself cutting every other day and crying almost every day. This pain is never gonna end. And when I think of the future, it's like, it's even impossible for it to get on. I'm tired of the same things occurring over and over again. I'm not even allowed to be happy. Everything I do for my own happiness is always taken away from me. I'm tired of this cruel life and only if I could be in a place where I'll find peace forever, I'll come. This is just too much already. There is no point in living at all. I have nothing left to do. And I'm sorry. :cry:

 

[Drekono]

I am sorry you are hurting so much :hug:

 

[ZombiePringle]

If you need to talk to somebody feel free to PM me.

 

[majorlynch]

I'm sorry to hear that Claire.

But things do get better!
I felt awful when I was your age, I'm 33 now and the things that bothered me then are of little concern now.

You seem like a loving caring person.
Have you tried talking to a doctor or therapist?
You say
"Everything I do for my own happiness is always taken away from me."

what do you mean?

 

[clairedelune]

Thanks everyone for the encouragement.

majorlynch: It's like, I do things that make me happy no matter how seldom but the people around me are preventing me to do so. It's like I was doomed to be miserable forever. No one just makes me happy at all. And I'm sorry.

 

[DelThaFunkee]

PM me if you'd like to. I'm much newer to this site but I'd be fine with you and anyone else in seeking help and/or just having someone to talk to. Really, no BS, I'll talk to you and anyone like a human being that isn't hired for such purposes.

 

[majorlynch]

Thanks everyone for the encouragement.

majorlynch: It's like, I do things that make me happy no matter how seldom but the people around me are preventing me to do so. It's like I was doomed to be miserable forever. No one just makes me happy at all. And I'm sorry.

Well the great thing about being an adult is that you can do what you want. Soon you can move out and live your life and to the things you like.

As I said before things so get better, in a few years you will be looking back on this time with acceptance and nothing that is bothering you now will trouble you then.

The best of luck and happiness to you.

 

[peacelovingguy]

You really ought to seek some help with respects to cutting and going through some severe depression. It's the depression making you think this way, its not 'you' who is actually to blame!

18 is a difficult age, your still working out who you are and what you want. Often its the time we feel the least close to parents and family - but you always look back and see the folly in this.

Of course, with depression all the common and normal problems will seem a lot more difficult. You cannot see a future worth living but at the same hand, you cannot see the sun at night but we assume its likely there.

As for nobody making you happy - depression does this. It can make your hobbies seem pointless - relationships also. Everything suffers, school-work and study plus enthusiasm for things that once made you happy.

I'm sure that when you seek help you'll find that this period in your life will have given you some character and strengths. I'm sure plenty of women in your situation would be able to help you in the chat room or whatever.

Best of luck - I'm sure you'll be fine in a few weeks IF you do get some help. Don't feel embarrassed about it - or scare yourself into thinking you'll be OK. Just book the appointment and take it one step at a time.